


Not the Jedi Way

by jujuDCEU



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Cheating, Emotional Infidelity, Eventual Smut, F/M, Forehead Touching, Hormones, Horny Teenagers, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Loss of Trust, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Masturbation, Oral Sex, Past Rape/Non-con, Porn with Feelings, Regret, Religious Conflict, Secret Relationship, Semi-Public Sex, Situational Humiliation, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, all the clones are teens too technically so its okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 11:15:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22849279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujuDCEU/pseuds/jujuDCEU
Summary: Hina Ka Esme and her life as a young Padawan. Although, she feels she cannot uphold the responsibilities. As a teenage girl, there are some things she cannot meditate away, like--ew--feelings. Will she be faithful to the Code, or will she give in?Takes place around Season 4-5
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

As I sat down in my quarters, I started to think maybe I was the problem. I should be grateful to the Jedi. After all, they are the reason I am no longer a slave…

But sometimes I feel I still am. Before I was physically bound. Now, my imprisonment is of my mind. I have been beaten and bruised. Never have I ever been attacked for my emotions. I hate my master sometimes. The whole Order is full of hypocrites. To leave, though, would put me at risk for being held captive. I’m torn between which freedom I would rather practice.


	2. Nothing New

Everyday it’s the same thing. I wake up, I brush my teeth, I give my hair 100 brushstrokes, I go train, I go back to sleep, and I do the same thing over in the morning. I don’t have a problem with my routine. I wish it wouldn’t change. But there has been something--no; someone--disrupting my routine. No, no. It is definitely something. Now I lay awake until the sky lights up. My skills have become sloppy. I’m so distracted.

My body temperature has been abnormally high, I thought. I’ve been in and out of the medical bay but nothing comes up on my scans. I told the medic that maybe he didn’t know enough about Chiss, and that he had to be overlooking something. I made him aware of my symptoms: increased sweating, insomnia, lack of concentration, and excess...fluids. He told me that my vitals are fine, and that if it persists, to return. I didn’t mean to raise my voice, but I was becoming irritated. I reminded him that I’ve been coming back for the past week. How is that not persistent enough? I mumbled something about his clone nature, how they’re all just focused on the war and not their other duties. He heard me, and assured he was doing his job to the fullest extent. He offered to do something different for me, but that I should come back the next day. He would do more research, as he admitted that his knowledge on my kind was limited, but not absent. I thanked that medic clone. I put my tabard and shash back on, and left back to my quarters.

My master notified me of my frequent visits to the medic, and asked if everything was alright. I didn’t want to worry him, as I didn’t know what was wrong with me anyway. I said to him that I’ve just been losing focus, and that I’ve been so, so tired. I didn’t want to notify him of any of the medical-sounding stuff. What would he know? He showed me his sympathy, and relieved me from my training for the time being. He suggested that I meditate with Master Yoda and Padawan Ahsoka, and to simply “get some rest.” I knew he wouldn’t get it. But I took advantage of the day off I was granted.

* * *

I always loved watching the younglings. Their tunics were all too big for their small little bodies. Some were older, making them less cute to me. The way they all aimlessly swung their blue or green lightsabers was just too precious. I thought about how I couldn’t wait to have a padawan of my own. But more tiredness swam over me. I decided instead of going to sleep, I’d go meditate. I only went to my quarters to strip down a layer. Now only in my inner tunic and tights. I sweat through my tabard and outer tunic. I knew my bottoms weren’t standard, but it was just to meditate. I figured I could make it to where Master Yoda was without being seen and stopped for my attire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I promise not all chapters are gonna be super short like the last two. It's only going to be like this when Hina Ka is in her thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter of Hina Ka and her monologuing...for now.

I sat adjacent to Ahsoka, not wanting to distract her. I switched out the cushion in “my” spot for the one I always used. It was velvety and deep cherry red. After getting settled, I folded my legs and laid my arms on top of each other. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes.

  
Even meditating proved to be a chore. My eyes kept flickering open, darting around the room. I looked at Master Yoda, who was deep in thought.

Ahsoka was noticeably losing her concentration. I always noticed how when she would snap out of focus, her mouth and eyes would become tightly shut as she tried to force herself back into her conscience. I told myself that when she was finished, I would stop as well. But she managed to relax, and return to her prior state. I closed my eyes again.

  
I began to slip deeper and deeper into unconsciousness. I felt like Coruscant was spinning two times faster. My mind was forming images of my past. How I was ripped away from Csilla, how I was passed around Ryloth until I was bought for as much as a piece of fruit. I remembered how my owner actually showed me love and patience. She treated me as if I was her own offspring. That was, until she found out my secret. No one had found out, as many owners as I had through my life. She sold me for a hefty price, telling the slave trade world I could decipher one’s dreams with top accuracy.

It was the worst day of my life. I was on a pedestal, dressed in my nicest clothing. My jewelry jingled as people rushed up to me.

They shook me, touched me, grabbed me, forced my mouth open...it still haunts me. Even now, I detest being touched in anyway. Before I was taken away, my owner slipped me many credits. I could only assume it was half of her earnings. She assured me my gift would get me far away from slavery, and to use these credits very wisely until then. She kissed my face. She had more tears in her eyes than I did. She pressed her forehead on mine and reminded me that I have a strong heart, and an even stronger mind, and that when I realized it myself, that she would be waiting for me. Now I realize that she sold me to free me. But what did I know back then. I had so much resentment in my heart for her that day. I had told her that I hated her as I was dragged away. But it was years ago. I wish I could go back and thank her. I am free. I owe her.

  
I snapped out of my meditation with a jerk. My face was wet with tears. I just hoped no one had noticed. Whenever I meditate, my mind always wanders to the same event.

  
Once, I figured it was a sign to go back to her after all this time. But I had a vision that she was long gone. Maybe I didn’t get the closure I needed. But that vision came to me two cycles ago. It was over now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I decided to make a bunch of short chapters instead of a few super long ones. I feel like it's more efficient for me and it's how I prefer my fanfics anyway.

Hina Ka returned to the medical bay where Kix was already waiting. He was examining a hologram of her. She alerted him of her presence by making her footsteps loud. Kix turned around and saw his patient standing in the threshold. She was clad in her training clothes: a simple mauve cropped shirt and a pair of loose, dark pants.

  
“Please, lay down.” Kix ushered her to the cot. “I’ve been doing my research and I found something I missed on yesterday’s scans.”

  
Hina Ka was at ease, ready to be diagnosed with whatever was coming her way.

  
“It may seem trivial--and it is--but it seems that what you’ve been experiencing is nothing more than a temporary period of...how should I put this?”

  
“You’re the medic. Just give it to me straight. I can take it.” As she finished her sentence, she got a surge of a foreign sensation in her gut. She gripped her stomach, much to Kix’s worry. “I’m okay, just tell me.”

  
“Once Chiss, or any species for that matter, reach that certain age--”

  
“I already started having my cycle. Is that what you came up with? I knew that already.”

  
“Commander Esme, I insist--”

  
“Am I going to have a baby? Oh my goodness!”

  
“Commander, you’re just in a stage of heat.” Kix finished. “It’s completely normal. Considering that you’ve been experiencing this for about five rotations, it should be over by tomorrow. You’ve been alive for about seventeen cycles, and most of your kind experience this at about the same time and age as you.”

  
Hina Ka got up from her cot and began to pace around the room. Her being horny didn’t explain the lack of sleep or focus or the sweating. She was thinking very hard about this misdiagnosis.

  
“I assume you don’t have an outlet for these urges, so I suggest you just ride it out. I can offer you these hormone blockers if you really can’t control yourself.”

  
“Yes. Yes, please. I’ll take them.” Kix handed her a small aluminum packet of capsules. The pills would only ease the heat, not eliminate it. Hina Ka figured she’d do anything to get herself back on track. Her studies were very important to her, and she was disappointed in herself that she let something as little as changes with her body to get in the way. She took one dry and thanked the clone. She went back to train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> editing this rn and I wish I never wrote it. This is the worst christmas gift ever


	5. Chapter 5

One rotation later, Hina Ka was in the mess hall with the thousands of clones. She only went for those little dessert rations she favoured so much. They tasted like red velvet and cream. She grabbed about five or six. Nobody else seemed to appreciate them the way she did. They’d learn soon enough.

  
She was headed towards the exit when she heard her name amongst the rowdiness. And she heard snickers too. She used the force to locate the source.  
It was about five clones that she hadn’t interacted with enough to know their chosen names. She recognized CT-5555 among them. She eavsedropped on the conversation. The other thousand voices flooded her focus, and she was only able to pick up her name again and...pen, pin, pan, something along those lines. So much for the force, she thought.  
She left out the door to go back to the temple. Hina Ka opened a ration and began to snack on it. Rushing would only make her fat, so she sat down on a bench and savoured it.

  
In her peripheral, she caught a glimpse of that familiar blue paint. Hina Ka glanced up at the excellent sight. Goodness. Hina Ka felt weird around him. She was always able to keep it together on operations. But when it was just a regular day like this one, her imagination ran wild. She thought about things that made her ashamed to face him and act like everything was fine. Hina Ka didn’t even realise that he had sat down next to her, as she was deep in her daydream. Her underarms and between her legs started to persperate, still playing scenes in her mind. Only when he put his heavy hand on her shoulder did she come back.

  
“Captain.”

  
“Cadet Esme.” he returned. He must’ve thought he was so funny disrespecting her like that. She worked endlessly for her title as Commander. She wasn’t laughing. The clone was on the verge of letting out a snicker just from the stern, serious disposition of her face. She swallowed the piece of ration she had in her mouth.

  
“May I help you?” Hina Ka asked. Her red eyes were fixed on his light brown ones. She needed something to drink. The rations left a crumby residue in her esophagus. No wonder so many clones didn’t eat them. She usually eats them with a glass of milk.

“Hey, you’re the one on clone turf. Can I help you?”

  
“I’m just here to stock up. Nothing else.” She loved playing a staring contest with him where she was the only player. She’d count how many seconds he’d look her in her eyes before finding something else to look at. He’d go minutes, but Hina Ka figured he didn’t realize what he was doing. He was just another clone, incapable of feeling anything and thinking about anything other than guns and ships. She had been around clones long enough to know how they were wired for the most part. Or so she thought. But why did it matter? Even if they were capable of feeling, she wasn’t able to give in. What would her master think? How much could she give of herself before the council stepped in and investigated?

  
“Well, it looks like you got what you wanted. Now scram.” he joked. Hina Ka got up and put her rations in her belt pouch. He grabbed her wrist to sit her back down next to him. “What? Can’t take a little messing around?” Ugh, and he was still holding on to her wrist even after she was back to sitting. Hina Ka just stared at him; not in the admiring way like earlier. He was such a joke when he wasn’t on the battlefield. “Wait here. I’ll escort you back to the temple.”

  
She didn’t need him to escort her, but being around him was ecstatic for her. She could ease up the stonecold Jedi act when they were alone. It was critical to her that she expressed dominance around the other clones who never got the pleasure of being led by her. If they got the idea that she was just a clueless Padawan, they’d treat her as such. She wanted to be taken seriously.

  
Rex came back quickly with a few more desserts for Hina Ka’s stash. Hina Ka couldn’t help but smile at him. What a thoughtful little clone.  
They walked down the long corridor, almost hip to hip. Hina Ka could feel his heat radiating on the side he was walking on. She wanted to feel more of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Rex left after successfully escorting Hina Ka to her quarters. She would’ve loved to have asked him to come inside, not even to do anything inappropriate. She appreciated his company. She’d offer him a snack that wasn’t government meted, and he’d refuse out of politeness, but Hina Ka would persist until he took a bite. He’d enjoy it, and finish it off. And then Hina Ka would want to taste his tongue afterwards, and feel the stickiness of the treat on his lips. She’d lay him on his back and remove his armour down to his blacks…

  
Okay, maybe it would get inappropriate. Only on her end though. Clones probably couldn’t even use their assets.

  
Hina Ka laid down on her stomach and put her face in her pillow. She couldn’t bare herself in her current state. That clone only made it worse. She hung one leg off the side of her bed to let her privates breathe. Her womanhood was throbbing painfully. Her wrist had a phantom sensation of his grip. She was getting overheated again. Sleeping in this condition would be impossible, and only elicit a dream she didn’t want to decipher. She got up, took a pill, and went to meditate.

Her meditation was cut short after she just couldn’t tolerate it anymore. She swiftly left the room. She couldn’t be around other Jedi who could probably sense exactly what was going on in her Padawan mind. What if they already knew? Hina Ka would be so embarrassed. As she was walking out, her master Obi Wan was coming in. He asked her what she was in a rush for, and led her back inside. He said the more she’d meditate, the more it would help with her focus. Hina Ka sat down on her red cushion to the right of her master. He hopped right into it, but Hina Ka could sense something distressing her master. She tried to enter his mind, using her dream deciphering as a way in; he’d put up a stronger mental barrier if he could sense her entering using the force.

  
Lucky for her, Obi Wan was deep in concentration. She snuck her way into his mind, looking for dreams. Hina Ka could not read minds, so unless a dream was smack dab in front of the brain, she would not find anything. And she didn’t. He was obviously occupied with something though. She’d have to ask when they were finished. He wouldn’t shy away and avoid her questions, he’d just be vague. But she was able to decipher what he meant.  
She tried one last time to no avail, so she shut her eyes and began her meditation.

It had to have been hours since she sat down. When she awoke from her daze, her rear end was in so much pain. Her legs hurt as she uncrossed them. But at least that clone was off of her mind. She wasn’t even aware that she wasn’t thinking about him anymore.

  
Some Jedi were still meditating, so her and Obi Wan quietly exit.

  
Hina Ka wasted no time grilling him.

  
“You have a lot on your mind, Obi Wan. I can sense it ten clicks away.” Hina Ka spoke once they were a few meters down the hall. “It would be best if you were to tell me. I can help you.”

  
“That, you could, my young Padawan. But this is a matter I must tend to myself.”

  
That was too vague for Hina Ka to build off of. She stepped in front of him and waved a hand in front of his eyes.

  
“You will tell me what’s ailing you.”

  
Obi Wan looked unamused. He did the same to her. “You will learn that these tricks don’t work on me.”

  
Hina Ka entertained it, entering a zombie state. “I will learn that these Jedi tricks don’t work on you.” She followed him, swaying side to side clumsily.  
She bumped into him during her charade, intentionally, but she tried to play it off as an accident. He turned around to face his Padawan.

  
“I already know, so you might as well confirm.” she bluffed.

  
“Humor me.”

  
“Um, well,” she stopped to think. “Oh, I’m getting something.”

  
Little did she know that Obi Wan had placed an old dream back into view, one she had already aided him in understanding.

  
“You think I don’t remember this one, Obi Wan? You insult me.”

  
Obi Wan put his arm around his Padawan’s shoulder and they began to walk.

  
“There is a lot I don’t want you to experience, Hina Ka. I sense something in you that is very risky. I wouldn’t recommend it. It will only hurt you.”

  
Hina Ka froze and looked up at her master. Did he know, for real? Or was he playing the same game she had played. She was nervous, and quite frankly, ashamed. If he really did know, then she felt like her decisions would reflect on Obi Wan, making him seem like an unfit master. Really, it was her who was the unfit Padawan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude im going back and creating paragraphs like six months later and thus shit is so cringe im gagging


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hina Ka's trauma is always lurking, ready to come up and wash over her at any time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter gets a little graphic, but not in the smutty way that we all love.

Hina Ka felt like she was seeing Captain Rex much too frequently now. There was no way it was a coincidence. She was long out of heat, so her need to use Rex to satisfy herself decreased exponentially. Lately, it had been just missions with her there alone to cosign for Rex. It was strange. She had too much time on her hands. She wanted to be busy. WIth all the free time, Hina Ka couldn’t help but think about how disgusting her urges were, and how poor Rex would’ve been her victim.

  
Hina Ka was alone on the ship as the other clone troopers either scouted, were on look out, or were taking advantage of the shift change and were sleeping in the tents. She was quite tired herself for the first time in a while. She sat down in the co-pilot’s seat, looking over some strategies before turning in for the night. Just as she finished, Rex came on to the ship. Hina Ka looked over her shoulder to see him in his helmet. Seeing him in his full armour always had awoken something in her. She’d like to see him in his helmet and nothing more. She didn’t realize the excessive eye contact they were sharing. He approached her and sat in the pilot’s seat. Hina Ka hadn’t done anything to assist all day, so she was in her sleepwear for a few hours already. She’d be undisturbed for that amount of time as well, so she was free to roam the ship with what little she had on. Her cheeks flushed red under her azure skin.

  
He removed his helmet and sat it on the dashboard. He rang up another clone on his comlink, and told him to let the other clones know of the shift change in a few ticks. He grunted and reclined his back into the seat.

  
“Sorry I haven’t been physically checking in. It’s not going well out there. I already have twenty men wounded. How’ve you been holding up here?”

  
“I’ve been alright. I’m not used to being alone this long.” she pouted. “I feel like I haven’t done anything to help.”

  
“No way. You’ve given some of us men some encouragement. That helps more than you think on the field.” Rex smirked at her. “Plenty of encouragement.”

  
Hina Ka snickered. That clone had to have been joking. Hilarious, honestly. She turned her chair to face him. Rex did the same.

  
“Can I ask you something?” she asked, and without the green light, she asked anyway. “Is your hair dyed? Or did you come out like that? Like was your DNA messed up somewhere in the clone process? You don’t have to answer, but I’d like to you.”

  
Rex raised a brow. “Well, I dyed and cut my hair, like a lot of my brothers have. It’s to show a bit of individuality.”

  
“Why blonde?”

  
“I don’t know, Commander.”  
  
Hina Ka didn’t care for small talk. She turned her chair around to face the front. She let her midnight blue hair fall down her back from its bun. Her hair was her favourite thing about herself. It used to be so long when she was young; it passed her backside. Her hair was the single thing that slavery wasn’t able to rip from her. But she realized she was overly attached to it, and cut it short to her shoulders. It was just now reaching a tolerable length for her.

  
Rex watched as she combed her fingers through her hair. It shone, even under the dim lights of the ship. He wanted to get a feel for himself. He decided they’d known and worked together long enough to have lowered their boundaries around each other. She reached out and just patted it from the side, and watched the light cater a wavy pattern on it. Hina Ka stood in disbelief. She didn’t appreciate anybody putting their hands on any part of her, nonetheless her hair. It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know, she reasoned. She put her hair back up. Her breathing had increased noticeably, and her face burned with suppressed anger.

  
It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know, she repeated again and again in her head.

  
She sat back down, arms crossed. And then that touchy clone had the nerve to strike up another conversation. Hina Ka was staring into his soul, trying her best not to appear upset. Her leg was bouncing. She was reminded of all the buyers who would just put their crusty fingers on her like they were testing fruit for ripeness. She was so young. People were so disgusting and perverted! Hina Ka thought back to the time when she was bought into a wealthy family and she was dolled up to please. It was dark outside, and her owner left her on the sidewalk, saying he’d return shortly. He was only gone for an hour or so, but so much had happened in that little bit of time. The weather had shifted up on her, and she was freezing. Some blue Rodian came up to her and offered her a warm place to wait and something to eat. Hina Ka wasn’t hungry, but if she stayed outside any longer, she’d be frozen stuck to the ground. So she went with him.

  
He took her to a cantina on the lower levels of Coruscant. The neon lights were blinding. It was much warmer, and she was offered a drink. Frankly, it was disgusting, but she was apparently thirstier than she had thought. They served her those clear beverages in teeny tiny cups, so of course they’d offer her more. No one will get quenched from just one.

  
Her new Rodian pal gave her a plate of white pellets, saying that it was the new way rations were packed, and that they tasted like meat.  
Hina only had a few from what she remembered, but it was enough to have knocked her out along with the drinks she was given. From what she recalled, she woke up with the Rodian right next to her, naked. She looked under the thin sheet, and saw that she had no clothes either. She began to panic, and then screamed as loud as she could. But no one came to her. She got up, and between her legs felt squishy. When he put two fingers down there to see, they came back up with blood on them. Hina Ka threw up on the bed from the sight, but realized she had to get out of there. She didn’t care that she was still bleeding. She put her gown that was halfway across the floor and scurried out. The front door was right there, but she felt as if she couldn’t leave, like something was physically stopped her from turning the knob. She turned around, and there he was, standing there the same way he came into the world. Hina Ka was snatched up from the waist and thrown onto his shoulder. She kicked and flailed and screamed until he accidently dropped her. She scrambled to get back up and pounced on his back. She dug her manicured nails into his purple orbs and used his sockets as if they were reigns. Her teeth gnawed at his antannae until his green blood was drawn. When she felt a crunch, she bit down harder. The Rodian was already on the floor, passed out from the shock. But Hina Ka wasn’t finished with him. She was violated to say the least. She was old enough to know what had happened to her, and she wasn’t going to let anyone do that to her ever again. She used her Sight and lifted him from the floor by his neck. That woke him up. Her extended hand closed into a tight fist as she controlled his body. She slammed him into the walls and floors, and through all of his furniture. She heard that familiar crunch as she held him up in front of her face. Hina Ka dropped him, and left him where he lay.

  
She looked at her bloodied hands, angry and confused. She didn’t realize what she had done. His lifeless corpse bled out all over his cheap tile. Hina Ka was more frightened of herself than her actions. How was she able to do that? She had to have been imagining things.

  
Hina Ka snapped out of her lucid day terror with a gasp as if she had been underwater. She lunged at Rex, clasping her hands around his neck and squeezing as tight as she could. She felt more powerful force-choking when she was a child than she felt physically choking this man in front of her.  
“You NEVER in your short, clone life EVER touch me again!” She screamed. “I will kill you! I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you!”

  
Rex pryed her hands off of him, but now had to battle with the strength she was exterting on him. She was strong, only considering he was caught by surprise. He was able to get his blaster and set it on stun. He aimed at her abdomen, and watched her fall to the ground. He stood up, panting. What had come over her? Rex contacted her master with haste, explaining the situation. After, Kix was summoned to the ship, and the situation was explained to him as well. Kix took her to where the other wounded clones were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sight is basically what the Chiss refer to as the Force. Wookiepedia told me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OKay wow fuck AO3 for not respecting my indents. My lord.

Hina Ka’s head pounded as she sat up on her bed. Her stomach was wrapped in guaze and she was curious to see what was underneath. As she peeled the guaze away from her skin, a clear and sticky substance still bound her to the bandages. The sight made her gag. It mixed with some fresh wounds and it made a nasty, fleshy pink colour. The poor yellow bucket next to her was soon filled with her spit up. Even that was clear with hints of red, most likely from the excess of raw meat she was consuming. Those clones hunted down anything and barely let it sit over the fire. But they seemed to like it.

By her side was the same medic clone whose time she had wasted many times before. She felt fatigued and decided to stand up. The pain she was in was like nothing she ever experienced. Her knees hit the floor as she held herself in her wounded area. She rolled around groaning to ease the pain.

Kix assisted her in standing, and guided her back to her bed. 

“You’re not healed yet.”

“I don’t care. I’m going back to the ship.” Hina Ka slid from the bed to the floor and crawled back to the ship, which was a few meters away. She looked absolutely ridiculous. But she was focused on her own personal mission. 

When she managed to make it to the ship, Rex was still in there. She grabbed what she could to stand up right. Rex watched her as she stumbled toward him.

“Commander Esme.” He said,

“Rex, I am so sorry.” she pleaded. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Commander Esme.” he repeated.

Hina Ka was puzzled by his redundant words. He echoed himself. Her head spiraled as his voice surrounded her. Each sentence became more and more frantic. 

Rex shook her by the shoulders. “Hina Ka!” 

Hina Ka’s eyes shot open. Her heart was beating fast. She saw her hands loosely gripping his neck. His face showed that concern. She let her hands slip down to his chest. 

“Are you feeling alright?”

“My goodness. I was having visions. I didn’t even realize. It happens so often. I apologize, did I hurt you?”

“No Commander. You just zoned out for a few seconds.”

“I’m sorry. I must’ve scared you.” 

“It takes more than a little blue Jedi to scare me.” Rex smiled at her, and everything felt all right. Hina Ka got handsy, and moved her hands to his shoulders. Deep down, she felt like a hypocrite, feeling up that poor, befuddled clone. Too bad she couldn’t stop herself. 

“Can I tell you something?” Red light from her eyes shone on his chest plate. 

His hands passively took hers and placed them elsewhere. Her face had a little purple tint to it. Rex knew better. Although whatever she was going to insinuate, he’d entertain it for a little. 

“Are clones able to...feel things?” 

God, that girl was a case.

“Whatever do you mean, Commander?” He asked annoyingly coyly. 

“Like if I were to touch you in a way that would make someone like me renounce my morals and give in, do you ever feel like that?”

“If you’re asking if I’m capable of normal human functions, then yes. I’m not a droid, I am a man.” 

His response just made Hina Ka more curious. She was getting those urges again, and it wasn’t even that time of the month anymore. She picked up the doubtful tension in the air, and decided to use it to her advantage. She’d tease the clone until he’d give in to those primal instincts he claimed to have. She was finished with him for now, but he would just be starting. 

Hina Ka stretched right in his line of sight, hiking up her already short and tight sleep shirt. She yanked it back down, low enough to show just a sliver of a sliver of her nipple. She didn’t care if he noticed. It would be his problem if he did. She wouldn’t lose sleep at night anymore over him. He’d come crawling to her. 


	9. Chapter 9

When Rex had returned from Umbara, Hina Ka was nothing less than elated. Loneliness was her only friend for the time being. She wanted nothing more than to be in his presence. So much for him crawling to her. But her heart had been aching ever since she saw him board and leave. Obviously he hadn't thought of her while he was more occupied with protecting himself, she thought to herself.

As Rex was unboarding, she made herself look busy. The last thing she wanted was to have him assume she was there waiting for him. With a...something, probably a repair tool, in her hand, she pretended to examine it. It hit the floor with a loud clang after it slipped from her hand. She looked over her shoulder to see if anyone had heard, or saw.

Of course it would’ve been Captain Rex himself to come walking up behind her. That was totally all part of the plan, she supposed.

“You cut your hair again.” he observed.

“Yes.”

She actually only trimmed it, but what did he know? At least he was kind enough to notice at all. Bless him. His keenness made her chest thump. And she knew it was loud, because he smirked at her. That clone may have known what he was doing to her. Her ears burned, trying to control which way her blood flowed. She had to get away.

Thankfully, her master was right there to swoop her up. It was like he could read her mind.

Oh wait, that wouldn’t be good at all. Yikes. Okay, she hoped that maybe it was just a coincidence.

He didn’t acknowledge her presence before he commended Rex and his men for their exploits and for their bravery to take matters into their own hands when it came to former Jedi, Krell.

Hina Ka hadn’t known that Rex had killed a Jedi. It made her wary of hearing it. Obi Wan never filled her in on that stuff, as he feared it would be too much for her to handle. That’s also why he only let her go on missions he sensed wouldn’t escalate. Good on him for knowing his Padawan.

They shook hands and Rex walked back over to craft to overlook the men unloading the supplies.

“Why did they kill Master Krell?” Hina Ka spoke. “Are they going to be court martialed for it?”

“Master Krell was lured by the Dark Side, and the clones were in the right to arrest and execute him.”

Hina Ka felt queasy hearing the word ‘execute.’ It reminded her of how other slaves who proved to have become weak from the arduous labour were permanently disposed of. She was never at risk, as she was a servant of the house; explaining to her owners what they had to avoid so that their nightmare would not become fate. But she did know one slave who was always tending to the gardens. Sometimes she’d sneak out the back door just to talk with her, and they’d share some bread Hina Ka was graciously offered. But bread wasn’t enough to keep the garden girl working. One day, she took a short break and sat down, just for a moment. Hina Ka saw from her window. She saw some masked guards approaching the garden, and she knew what was about to happen. She screamed a warning to her, but the poor girl was so tired and sick, she had accepted what was going to happen to her. Hina Ka understood her body language, and cried a tear for her friend. The girl was forced to stand, and was turned towards the walls of the home. Hina Ka couldn’t watch. But the sound of the blaster firing repeatedly on her friend was enough to make her sick. The girl was so small. She didn’t need more than one hit. The guards just wanted to kill something. Hina Ka had sensed their anger before they had even come into her view.

“What happened to a fair trial?”

“Hina Ka, I think it would be less distressing for you to not concern yourself in these affairs.”

“Master, I can’t believe you encouraged that act.”

“I suppose you know the details of the Umbara mission, hm?”

“No, but--"

“Then I suggest you don’t worry yourself.”

His dismissiveness made Hina Ka so angry, but what could she ever do to him? Now she knew why Master Skywalker always just did what he thought was best without permission prior.

She relaxed and followed Obi Wan back to the temple. Hina Ka branched off and went to the Jedi Library, just for the time being. Maybe she could research clones. She doubted she would, due to how recent the construction of clones was, but it never hurt anyone to try.

* * *

Hina Ka was soon awakened from her stodgy-induced coma when her comlink went off. Reading took the energy out of her. Not only did she not find anything, she got severely sidetracked. She didn’t even know what she was looking at on the page.

She left the library as to not interrupt the silence with her voice.

There was absolutely no reason for Rex to be trying to contact her directly. Maybe he had finally come to his senses.

Nope.

Why did he need her in the hangar? Why was he in the hangar? Why did he need her?

She went.

Ugh, and of course there were clones scattered about, doing whatever duties they had. He’d never summon her without company. He didn’t know what he was doing. Maybe he’d lead her on to a ship for some much needed privacy.

Hina Ka was a dunce for expecting anything more than a conversation.

“Commander Esme.” He greeted her.

Oh, how she could just melt hearing his voice say her name. Those feelings were arising in her again. Her creases formed sweat. Goodness, she was literally standing in front of him for half a second and she was out of control. Her eyes widened as she looked up at him. She never noticed how close they were in height. Was he short, or was she tall? He had a good amount of centimeters on her. He could definitely see past her head. She didn’t want to be any taller. She had more advantages at that height.

Focus, Hina Ka’s mind said.

“Captain Rex.”

Their conversations always started like that, and never went anywhere. She didn’t care about briefings, or about ship repairs, or when they took off for the next mission. The Chiss only wanted one thing at that moment: to be just an inch closer to him. Were her ears red? They felt red to her. Maybe she was just reacting to the change of temperature. She hated that her body did this to her. When was the last time she took a pill? Why was she asking herself so many questions?

“You wanted to see me?” She asked. Great, another question. She sounded so timid. It wasn’t like her, not one bit.

He made her feel so many things. It was becoming unbearable. She couldn’t focus on anything coming out of his mouth, even as she watched his lips intently. Did he notice the lack of eye contact? Probably not. He kept talking.

She didn’t know she had cut him off mid sentence. But she couldn’t stay silent. It was too much for her mind to handle. Her brain could’ve held her back, but her mind...Her mind was going to burst open like a...she didn’t even know. Hina Ka just wanted to scream from the confusion.

“Shut the fuck up!” She screamed. Did she mean to yell? She didn’t even remember saying that. Maybe she didn’t say it. She prayed that she didn’t. Was she having a vision again? Was this a vision? Only one way to find out.

She looked around the hangar to see helmet visors and eyes alike on her. She wished Rex had just killed her on the spot. But he was just looking at her, possibly twice as embarrassed as she was. His face didn’t read it even half as much as hers did though. Hina Ka had to look around again to make sure she was positively heard. Instead of going back to work, the clones were still looking over at them. She wasn’t even talking directly to him, she was talking to herself. And her mouth just so happened to have opened. She felt terrible, to say the least. She didn’t want to embarrass Rex. She’d make a fool of herself again just to get everyone’s peering gaze off of him.

And then the murmurs arose.

Rex just said her name sympathetically and tried to reach out to give a pitiful pat on the shoulder but she scurried out of the hangar as quick as she could. She didn’t know why she was crying. She wasn’t sad. It was definitely plausible that she was crying from the chagrin of the situation.  
Now she had to go through the halls of the temple. She didn’t run, but she went as swiftly as she could to avoid other Jedi’s looks and questions. She knew practically everyone saw her with tears all over her face, and wondered what could’ve happened to her. She was a frequent crier, but they all sensed something different about it this time. Obi Wan tried to address her but she zoomed past him.

Hina Ka’s door couldn’t close any slower. She was on stage two of her breakdown: the freakout. She repeatedly pressed the button to shut it, but it only paused or resumed the process. She let out an angry growl and just started kicking it. The metallic thuds flooded the corridor, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t put herself back together for a while. Several of her belongings were shredded up or sliced by the means of her lightsaber. Her sheets were bunched up and thrown elsewhere. It was only when she stomp-slammed a framed hologram of her and the other current padawans that it was time to calm down and recollect herself.

She had made a simple mistake. She should’ve never tried to fulfill her need for an attachment. This was her fault. She had no reason to be upset with herself anymore. She was over it. Hina Ka wouldn’t let it dwell on her. Those clones would forget after a day or two. If Rex didn’t, she didn’t care. Their relationship was strictly professional. She was foolish for expecting anything more, but it would never happen again.

Hina Ka grabbed her lightsaber and pulled her hair over her shoulders. She let it scorch before advancing it forward, cutting her hair. She deactivated it and brushed off hairs from her clothes. She still felt prickles.

She looked in her mirror in disappointment. Not just because of the sorry excuse of a haircut she gave herself. All she saw was a pathetic excuse for a Jedi. Even a youngling wouldn’t make the futile blunder she had done.

Her tears had dried, leaving a surfeit of white crust on her face, which already had a miserable expression. She grabbed a pocket knife and tried to salvage the look of her hair. About ten centimeters was sizzled off. The ends were deader than dead. Not only was her hair jacked up, it was damaged. She was at a point of no return. She evened it out the best she could, and let it be. She had to give herself credit where it was due; she did pretty well.

Hina Ka wiped her face with a cloth. At least she was presentable enough now.

She stripped down to her underwear, and tried to find something else to wear.

One thing that caught her eye: a nice red dress she never wore due to its promiscuity. It was ruined, though. Her lightsaber had torn it up. But once again, she grabbed her pocket knife, and tried to work her magic. She ended up just making a deep cut in the back, only giving her more of a reason to never wear it out. She took off her bra and stepped into her new fangled attire. To say the least, she loved it. She considered cutting off the mesh sleeves, but figured she might as well cover something.

Hina Ka was at that stage of her breakdown where she became reckless. She put her boots on and left. She strutted down the halls, where the people traffic had decreased since she was last there. Only Anakin and Ahsoka were there to witness. She tried to follow her and start her investigation of where the hell Hina Ka was going. Hina Ka gave her a vague response, saying “somewhere.” She felt like Ahsoka was always putting her nose in things, but she meant no harm. Didn’t change the fact she was annoying her at that moment. Like she was her master or something. Please.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I even bother indenting at this point when it decides to go against my wishes and just makes everything looking like a blob. I don't care at this point. I apologize in advance for any confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the smut is coming. I just need to build it up a bit

Hina Ka managed to snag a speeder and ditch the temple for a while. She went down some levels. Seeing the gradient change on the way was astonishing each time. She was starting to think she should’ve covered up more as she got to the sleazier parts of Coruscant. She parked “her” speeder outside of 79’s, a cantina from what she had heard eavesdropping on other clones.

She made her way around a few shock troopers, who were occupied gathering IDs from other regulars.

Hina Ka made her way to the restroom, making sure she looked the way she thought she did.

Perfect.

She made her way back out, and stood at the bar. She didn’t know what to order. It just had to be strong. She wanted to go back to the temple fighting against her center of gravity. She deserved it.

“What do you recommend after some public humiliation?”

The bartender smirked, and she watched her pour her drink. It wasn’t clear, but it was a nice amber. The woman was going to add ice, but Hina Ka said she’d pass on it. Why would a skilled Bartender add the cubes after the drink was poured? Maybe she was just as wasted as Hina Ka was planning on being.

She took it all down like a champ and asked for another before the burn came to her chest. She downed one after another after another, until the woman changed up the order to something—as Hina Ka deemed—more light.

Truthfully, Hina Ka was roughly thirty shots down. But she wouldn’t admit it. No way she let herself do that. She wasn’t trying to shut her organs down. Now, she was on the floor, right near the stool she was sitting on before. She attempted one more shot, but couldn’t even sit up. Hina Ka laid there and watched the lights change colours.

She looked to left and saw some beautifully orange Twi’leks dancing. Hina Ka could appreciate beauty in anything. She loved the rarer kinds of beings in a species. She was just like any other Chiss. They all had the same characteristics from what she knew. No diversity. One thing she had that she was sure no other Chiss had was the Force.

To her right were a group of clones, most of different legions of what she recognized. Their hair and tattoos were what set them apart from one another. Those were boring differences, since they didn’t happen naturally. But seeing them reminded her of her former love. All those years of tormenting herself over unrequited admiration we’re finally over. Some kind soul extended a hand to her and helped her stand. Her vision could barely focus, but based off the sheer strength being used to drag her dead weight up, it had to have been a man. He put his hand around her waist to stabilize her. Hina Ka thanked him, but told him respectfully that she didn’t wish to be touched or handled, and that she’ll be fine.

The room was spinning at a million clicks an hour. Hina Ka stumbled into a clone. She didn’t feel any armour on him. She heard him and his group laugh, not at her, but at her state. They offered to take care of her until it was time to leave. Hina Ka thought they were so sweet, and kissed all five of them on their cheek. They all moved to a booth, where the next round came about. Hina Ka was grateful. She felt herself already sobering up.

They all gulped at the same time. Hina Ka was enjoying herself after finally having some company.

“And then I told him to shut up in front of everybody in the hangar. I didn’t mean to. I just let it slip.”

“We heard.” One said.

Of course she was in a group of clones who were present. She looked down at the piece of fruit at the bottom of her drink, and dug it out with her fingers and ate it. It was more tart than she thought it would’ve been. To top that off, it means they were in the 501st, and literally might see her every rotation for the rest of her life.

“Did he say anything after I left?”

Dangerous question. The response could warrant another breakdown. She refused to be humiliated again.

“I left afterwards. I have no idea.”

“I don’t think he said anything. He just went back to work.”

“He told me that you’ve been acting strange for a while now. The captain thinks you have a personal vendetta against him.”

“Really now?” Hina Ka leaned forward onto the table.

“He figures that maybe you were mad about the pin-up.”

Hina Ka didn’t react poorly. She was more relieved than anything. Trying to figure out what she heard in the mess hall was haunting her. Plus, those clones were infamous for putting their creativity into stupid things like pin-ups of women they would never be able to approach outside of their fantasies. It was sad, in a way, how they were deprived of physical affection. Or just affection in general; the way their clubs ran, some clones must’ve been lucky enough to score. Had Rex ever gone to this one? Hina Ka didn’t like the thought of him shacking up. But she did like the idea of him sweaty from the work. She snickered, and the clones thought it was in response to the previous thing said. She was known for being overly-sensitive to stuff that most people found humour in. They all locked at each other, confused by her cooperation. Her mind was in a dirty place, she wasn’t concerned about her body being up on a piece of paper. If Rex had one, she felt like she could salvage their situation.

“He has his hands on one?” Hina Ka couldn’t help but smile, as she considered it something flattering.

“No, but he feels responsible since some of his men came up with it. He wasn’t going to tell you because he didn’t want them to have to deal with you, considering how you act out, and that if it came down to it, he’d take the blame.”

Those clones were especially bold that night. They practically just told her she has a temper right to her face. Her smirk immediately dissolved into her resting face.

“What do I look like?”

One clone took a crumpled, folded piece of paper out of his pocket. Everyone else at the booth just looked at him, judging him silently for carrying it around with him. He didn’t seem to see an issue.

Hina Ka accidentally snatched the paper, a little too excited to see herself bimbofied.

It wasn’t too bad, nowhere near as demeaning of the one made of Senator Amidala a while back, but that one got eradicated in its very early phase. Master Skywalker took it more particularly more personally than the Senator herself, as if it was him in nothing but a few loose chains hanging off his person while in a suggestive pose. She guessed the clones went easy on her incase she had acted out like they presumed she would if she found out. Or maybe they were playing it safe; they probably didn’t know how old she was. But why take the risk of being labeled as a nonce? In hers, it was just her in a neat bun and an admiral’s uniform, but it was deep cut in the front, and the skirt’s slit went up all the way to her hip. Her chest was exaggerated to say the least, along with her rump. How thoughtful. And she had a blaster for some reason. Even if she was a clone, she wouldn’t waste her time gawking at it. They must’ve been really bored and out of women to draw. She wondered if Ahsoka or Barriss had experienced this yet. She didn’t think there was much to build off of them. They both equally lacked any sex appeal to her.

She gave the clone back his paper.

“What a waste of time.” She mumbled.

The shock troopers made another round around the bar, asking for IDs, even if they had been identified earlier. Hina Ka didn’t have hers, and even if she did, it wasn’t a pass to do illegal things like drink. She alerted the clones that she had to leave before the troopers made their way over, and from there, they all decided it was time to head out.


	11. Chapter 11

She approached the temple. When the doors slid open, no one other than Obi Wan was there, posted up with his dog of a clone, Cody. The urge to just cry then and there washed over her. She was too exhausted to get reprimanded. Hearing a word out of his mouth would have her on the floor in a tantrum over how much she really didn’t care.

They didn’t exchange any words, just a look of mutual agreement that it was too late to start with each other. She understood that once she woke up, she was done for. First her ears would fall off, and then she’d die from boredom after hearing the same spiel.

In her quarters awaited her lightsaber. It was on her bed, calling to her. It wasn’t a cry out to be used for trashing her room again. No, this time it was something different. Maybe it was radiating Its want for some late night training. Hina Ka wasn’t going to be told what to do. She wanted nothing more than to get into something comfortable and pass out.

She took everything off and got into her bed. Once she laid her head on the mattress, her drowsiness escaped her like a spirit after an exorcism.

And there was her lightsaber, on the stand. She didn’t know why it kept grabbing her attention. It had to have meant something. She used the Force to bring it to her. There was really no use for it. Hina Ka examined it all around. The handle may have had a scratch or two on it, but that was it. She placed it on the other side of her bed. She got nice and snug, trying to force herself to go to sleep. Thinking nice thoughts always helped. The only thing on her mind was how much trouble she was going to be in soon. Would the clones be punished too? She hoped not. Maybe they’d be okay. They can do whatever they want off duty. But if Obi Wan was to find out about the posters going around the 501st, then she wouldn’t be able to help them. She’d feel so weird if he saw them. It wasn’t like it was drawn in the nude, but she didn’t need him drawing conclusions on what her body actually was like based on it. Would he analyze it any further than seeing those familiar Chiss characteristics? Hopefully, just knowing it was of his Padawan, he’d refrain from seeing it, and put some select clones in their place.

Clones.

Hina Ka tried to think of something different. What could make her fall asleep?.

Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Something nostalgic? Maybe something in the present. Like Rex. He made her happy, she thought, though he made her feel many things that weren’t categorized under happiness. He made her mad, confused, and weird. Her negative views on him came from his alleged naivety, how he didn’t get her hints, or when he’d have her thinking that he was coming on to her, just for it to turn out he was just being friendly. Sometimes, she thought maybe Rex didn’t see her as a girl, and just as a commander. Hina Ka could understand that; she didn’t see Obi Wan as a boy, or Ahsoka as a girl, just as Obi Wan and Ahsoka. But she definitely saw Rex as a man. Hina Ka just wanted him to view her as a woman, an eventual lover. But he was just a clone who didn’t know any better. She started to feel less guilty for embarrassing him earlier. Thinking about him made her irritated, so she ended up going to bed mad.

She had a lucid dream of the two of them. To say the least, she spent the rest of her day with a better disposition than normal. Nothing could ruin her attitude.

Her dream started off with Rex coming up to her from behind and putting her into a solid embrace. She was having a conversation with some other higher up, and he was just so bold to come up to her and show her public affection. He told her something in her ear, she couldn’t remember what exactly he said, but it made her follow him without excusing herself from her talk. Next thing she could recall, Rex had torn her top right in half, exposing her chest. He began to kiss her. His mouth was dry at first contact, but after a few seconds, Hina Ka was able to moisten them up. Her gloss rubbed onto his lips, making them shine like hers. His kiss marks were now visible on her skin as he pecked at her neck and her breasts.

Hina Ka let him have his way. If it had been anyone else, she’d have retaliated. His tongue was warm trailing down to her abdomen. He was on his knees in front of her, and yanked down her pants as if her belt was just there for fashion. Her hands instinctively went to cover herself, as she was now practically naked; her panties had come down with her pants. Rex kissed the front of her privates, his hands holding her hips in place. The sensation was so foreign, and she had expected to feel something arise in her from it, but nothing. Maybe he was using movements for a different species. All of her concerns were washed away when he began to slide a single finger across her moistening slit. That part felt nice. He picked up the pace, making her legs unsteady. She had them closed tight, only making each jerk of his finger harder than the last. Finally, he decided to spread his legs, making her fluids create a string from fold to fold. The captain had gracefully cleaned her up, watching her reactions the whole time. Her face wouldn’t budge, but he could tell by her restrained noises and reddened face that she was enjoying herself. Hina Ka wished his hair was just a bit longer so she’d have something to hold on to. And then it was a blur in Hina Ka’s mind.

Hina Ka had woken up just as her clone was about to shoot his sweet liquid right down her throat. The last thing she had remembered was him pushing her all the way down along his shaft, which was a fairly good size. She couldn’t really breathe, so she guessed that’s what shot her out of her dream.

Hina Ka went all day with those images in the front of her mind. There was a suspicious smile across her face that made her Master wary about what she could have possibly done. He didn’t sense anything irregular, and maybe her contentment should be taken for granted, as she finally wasn’t walking around with that usual look of disgust, as if everything around her was bothering her. Despite her outward appearance, he was beginning to feel something change. Her body was light and liberated, like during her whole entire training, she had twenty kilo weights on that bound her to an anchor.

If only he had known she had experienced her first orgasm in her entire life.

After waking up, Hina Ka wanted to continue her fantasy. She took her lightsaber and rubbed that marvelous spot that Captain Rex had slipped his tongue around. It felt much more pleasurable when it was actually happening. One hand was grazing her nipple repeatedly, ever so gently. Everything was fantastic. Her eyes were closed as a slideshow of her dreamy lover played. She thought about him without his armour or his blacks, and how she just wanted to feel his bare chest on her cheek as she rested upon it. She moved the hand on her chest up to her mouth, where she pressed her lips. She could still feel the weight of his lips on her as if he had actually kissed her. His hands could be felt on her hips from when he was trying to keep her from falling over from the pleasure. Her hips jerked up as she imagined her lightsaber was none other than the head of his glorious pole. Her hand work started to become sloppy as she felt numb in her back, and slick on her inner thighs. Then her legs started to shake. Hina Ka didn’t know what was happening to her body, and was frightened. She gave it one more good circular motion, and it was enough to make her legs squeeze shut, and the feeling in her lower back and pelvis escalate in tingles. Her eyes shut tightly and she jolted, thrusting her hips up against her lightsaber as she began to squirt her liquids all over her bed. Her calves gave out, and were now slung off the side of the bed. She was exhausted. Her breath was heavy and her throat was dry from her frequent moaning.

She tried to sit up, but even his elbows wouldn’t hold her. Her vagina still pulsated with brutal force. It took a few minutes for her to collect herself and get ready for the day. Her sheets were to be hand washed, since she didn’t want any questions.

And she tried her best to avoid looking Obi Wan in his eyes. She knew she’d already been smiling too much. Looking directly at him would only elicit laughter. Not from disrespect, just from her own bliss. Hina Ka was supposed to be receiving her punishment today for when she had snuck out and came back intoxicated out of her mind. She wished she had someone to talk to about her night and early morning.

Obi Wan was still in his sleeping clothes when he summoned Hina Ka to the library to discuss her punishment. Hina Ka was dressed for the day.

She straightened out her face to appear like she was not taking her punishment as a joke. The throbbing in her privates was subtle, but noticeable whenever she crossed her legs. She couldn’t wait to do that again.

“Now what makes you think you can sneak out, steal a speeder, go to a Clone’s bar, and return as if nothing happened?”

“Master, I was in a darker place, I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted the pain to go away.”

“Drinking only leads to more pain, Hina Ka. Not to mention, you’re not of age yet. If you had gotten caught, you’d be in trouble because the council wouldn’t be able to get you out of it.”

“Master, what’s my punishment?”

“You’re not getting off easy. Part of your punishment is listening to the lesson I’m trying to drill into your blue little head. Now, as I was saying,”

Hina Ka just kept grinning as she tried to listen. She wondered what Rex was up to. Maybe he had a dream about her too. Were they connected like that? If she saw him, she’d be able to read his dream. But what if it was something she didn’t wanna know? She’d risk it anyway. She wanted to be with him, physically and emotionally. Would he ever want to be with her? Overthinking made her doubt herself again. It was just a dream. But masturbating with a very specific person in mind made it awkward when you take away the dreaming. She wished she could start her day over. Was Obi Wan able to tell what was making her so chipper? She sank into her seat, heated with the humiliating thoughts.

Obi Wan noticed that his Padawan had entered her own world. He couldn’t read her now, her aura was all over the place. He gave up trying to get to her about her wrongdoing, and approached her based on what she could possibly be thinking about.

“Anyhting you have to say?”

“Sorry, won’t happen again.”

“Anything else?”

“Um, actually Obi Wan,” Hina Ka started. “I’ve been thinking.” she leaned closer to him. “Exactly how much trouble would I be in for having sex with someone?”

Obi Wan’s eyes opened wide with his mouth as he was getting ready to say something, though he couldn’t form a coherent sentence. He never prepared to ever have that talk with her.

“But but but--before you say anything about it going against the code--what if I didn’t form an attachment?”

“Surely, you’re joking right now. Are you serious right now? Why would you ever think that topic was appropriate?”

“Oh...gee, sorry Master, I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I figured you’d know about it more than anything. But I guess you’re just a lonely virgin man. I guess I’ll just ask Master Skywalker.” Hina Ka got up and foisted walking away. Just as she suspected, Obi Wan stopped her, and insisted she’d sit back down.

“I’m going to ignore that last part. But you have to understand that those things will only lead to an attachment, intentional or not.”  
“But let’s say I do form an attachment, and I don’t act upon it.”

“Hina Ka, it’s best to avoid all these hypotheticals and just focus on your studies.”

“You were of so much help.” She got up from her chair and actually managed to leave the library this time. She knew of the things he’s done, even if he did his best to forget about them himself. If only he’d just be as honest with her as she was with him. Did he think she was stupid? No matter. She was going to do whatever she wanted, if she was able to succeed.


	12. Chapter 12

Why was he making this so hard? Whenever she tried to get closer to him, he made it all about business. Hina Ka took it particularly personal when she saw Rex and Ahsoka just chatting it up all casual, occasionally laughing, of all things. No way anything could’ve been that funny. Ahsoka was no competition, Rex was so out of her league. But she wanted what they had, terribly. To just be that close to him. Hina Ka crossed her arms in jealousy. She glared at the pair. Would it be childish to call dibs on him? Hina Ka thought she made it obvious that he was off limits. They were close enough to tell eachother about things like that. Hina Ka knew about her little long distance Separatist boyfriend. So why in the hell was she on her man when she already had her own? The disrespect.

Anakin came up beside her without saying a word. He looked at her, and then followed her gaze to see what could’ve had her face so turned up. He snickered, and walked off. Hina Ka didn’t find it funny. She’d love nothing more to just march over there and interrupt their little talk.  
She saw Anakin come up to them and say something, and Rex branched off and began approaching where Hina Ka was perched. Anakin was speaking to his Padawan with his back turned to Hina Ka, and then he looked over his shoulder and smirked at her. He was so annoying because literally no one told him to do her any favors, and he better not have said anything about it to Ahsoka.

Now Rex’s shadow loomed over her as he was in her space. Hina Ka’s face fixed into a neutral expression, but her arms remained crossed. She fought the urge to be dismissive. She was mad at him. He should’ve known better than to be friendly with other females. Rex was nothing but a flirt. She had forgotten he was right in front of her.

“What?” Oops, she didn’t mean to say that. Now what? Where would the conversation go from there? She had no reason to be aggressive with him, he wasn’t hers.

“General Skywalker said you needed me.”

Oh, how she did. Was now the time? Was this her moment? They were in the middle of a war, was it really appropriate to want to get some? Maybe there were bigger things on her plate. Being so close to him was making her melt. Why couldn’t he just get the hint and kiss her? He was making her so frustrated. She wanted to fight him.

That was hot—imagining him tussling with her. Her eyes were half closed thinking about it. She was undressing him in her mind, meticulously looking over every bulging muscle. Thinking of him drenched in their sweat as they wrestled. Hina Ka knew what she was going to think about later that night. Could he just swoop her up and make love to her right then and there? He couldn’t be any more perfect. From his blonde little head to his toes, she wanted it. Oh, to ditch the mission and lay in her quarters, safe and sound from a judging eye, away from the confusion that clouded that clone’s mind, and just have the thought of him to occupy her mind—it was all enough for her. His physical touch could never live up to the expectations she had in her mind, he’d only disappoint her. She was finally able to know what she wanted.

She shifted and felt a familiar wetness between her legs. It had gotten uncomfortably humid. Her poor Chiss body couldn’t handle it.  
And of course Rex was standing there, waiting for whatever his commander had summoned him for. Does he actually have to listen to any order she gave him, or was it limited to the Order stuff?

“Captain, what happened in the bunker has been bothering me for a while..” Wow. A coherent sentence, Hina Ka congratulated herself.  
“I apologize for provoking you, Commander.”

He was so mature. It was favorable, yet also infuriating. If they were to ever argue, he’d never lower himself to yelling back at her; he’d be the bigger person, and Hina Ka would look like the crazy one.

“No, it’s not that. There was a lot on my mind and I was just overwhelmed. But I wanted to make you aware that you didn’t set off my outburst. I wanted to say sorry for putting you on the spot like that.”

Rex’s smile was so warm and inviting. If Hina Ka had an ounce less of self control, she would’ve pounced on him. He wanted her so bad, look at him. Did he ever smile at Ahsoka like that? Definitely not. That was hers.

But there was something else she had to get closure on.

“Do you think I’m attractive enough to be on a pin-up?”

Rex shrugged. “That depends on the person.”

“I’m the person.”

“Then what’s your opinion?”

“No, no.” Why was he so stupid? It’s like all he knew were to follow orders and not much else. “Okay, what’s your opinion?”

Way to sound desperate for validation, Hina Ka. Why was he taking so long to answer? Was he formulating a way not to hurt her feelings? Did he not find her attractive? Great, now she had to go drink her sorrows away again.

“Me? Well, I think you’re swell.”

Hina Ka didn’t know what to say. Should she have been angry for the vague wording, or have taken it and inflated it to more than what it could’ve been?

She was wet, so so so wet. Rex found her swell, and that was more than enough for her.

“I find you swell, too, Rex. Super swell.”

Now she sounded horny. She was giving off way too much, and it was obvious. Rex probably picked up on it too. The silence of their mutual agreement was killing her. The atmosphere felt ten times heavier. Everything was moving so quickly. Hina Ka’s stomach hurt from the excitement. His smirk made her heart clench. She wanted to hug him. Why was he so perfect? Her body felt cold and lonely. He would fit so well in her arms. Feelings in her were building up rapidly. She was on the brink of overflowing. She wanted him to do something, anything at all. He could give her a pat on the back for all she cared. Suddenly the thought of him wasn’t enough for her. Why did this always happen? Not having him was sufficient and then once she got close enough, he was minuscule. She needed more. Hina Ka felt like crying. Her chest ached, her stomach churned, and her privates throbbed. He was right in front of her and yet she felt so far and neglected. No one in the galaxy could care for her as much as she wanted him to.

She had to use the force to keep her hands by her side and not touch him and feel him.

Rex put his helmet on and went back. She didn’t realize how tense she was until her body relaxed. How much more could she take of this before she actually exploded?

She sat down and thought of a way to get rid of her excitement. Her leg was bouncing from anticipation. Why did today have to happen? Hina Ka began to realize how much he distracted her. He was no good. He made her compromise her values. He probably wouldn’t even go to those lengths for her. What even was swell? He was dodging the question. It didn’t mean anything to him, but that’s how he keeps her in his reach—he gives her false hope with his vague words to lure her in by using her own mind against her. How much trouble would she be in if she just straight up killed him so he wouldn’t be a problem? He was just a clone. He could be remade, preferably uglier and with less personality so she wouldn’t be drawn back in.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so sorry it took 13 chapters for me to figure out the formatting I feel so bad.

I was sitting on the ledge of the temple, looking down at all the levels underneath me. The sky was a nice shade of orange, almost pink. But I was more focused on what was going on below me. I was bored, to be honest with you. I was waiting for someone and I didn’t have any way to entertain myself. I braided the ends of my hair and then took them out. 

They were taking forever. I was starting to feel like I was being stood up. I pulled my locks over my shoulder and stroked the two masses. 

It was kind of a risky rendezvous. We would be in the middle of everything. The temple had a bunch of windows as it is. Hopefully, it would be worth the trouble. I just needed some clarification, and then we’d both be able to go back to whatever we found more important. For me, it was my art piece. I never been much of an artist, but I’ve been pretty inspired lately with a candid Captain as my muse. I liked drawing what I imagined his bare body was like. Maybe it was creepy, but I can do whatever I want.

And speak of the devil, the clone shows up. Late, of all things. Maybe if I had made it an order, he’d been the first to arrive. Regardless of his punctuality, I couldn’t be upset with him. He was stunning just posted up beside me. I liked looking up at him. We were close in height, so I rarely got the chance to see him at this angle. When he sat down next to me, my heart began beating out of my chest. I didn’t realize how excited I was to be alone with him. He could probably hear my palpitations. Him taking off his helmet was just purely magical. His blonde hair was one of my favourite things about him. It had gotten to the length where it could blow with the wind. You had to be there. He was a star.

I had almost forgotten what I wanted to talk to him about. When I remembered, I got cold feet and requested we’d go somewhere less...out in the open. He was so sweet; he got up before me and took my hand to help me up off the ledge. I didn’t know clones could be so gentlemanly. I could’ve melted, honestly, when his hand stayed on mine for just a bit too long. I think he noticed first as I was way too busy thinking of everything I wanted to say. I felt him about to take his hand back, but I tightened my grip, and dragged him to a good spot I remembered. I used to go to the rear of the temple and just hide out when I didn’t want to train when I was younger, and I figured we’d go there. There was never a lot of foot traffic anyway.

And then we were really alone. His body language expressed that he was anxious. He had no reason to be, I didn’t bite. I wanted to read his mind. Poor thing looked like I was about to sentence him to death. I just wanted to talk. To thin the atmosphere out, I patted his shoulder, and assured him he wasn’t in trouble. He told me he wasn’t scared of that, so I asked him what he was so scared of. I thought maybe he was afraid to be seen with me. But I sensed that he was stuck on a dream, a nightmare even. I told Rex I specialize in interpreting dreams, and that he should tell me whatever was on his mind. He was very hesitant, accepting my help then quickly taking it all back.

We sat again, and I reminded him that he didn’t have to tell me anything he didn’t want to, and that I’d piece together what he remembered. He told me about a nightmare he had the night before, about his brothers getting turned on after the war was over, as there was no need for clones, and that it was the Jedi who destroyed them. 

Before I tell people what I came up with, I always remind them that it is just a dream, and will not happen. If it’s a vision, I can’t offer that same guarantee, but he was a clone, he didn’t have visions. 

“You’re apparently very concerned about your role. Another clone came to me with the same nightmare a few rotations ago. But the Jedi would never do that to you all. Clones are very expensive.”

I was only trying to make him smile, but he didn’t find what I said funny. It was a half joke, like was he programmed not to laugh at specifically my jokes? I felt like he was. 

“Okay. But in all seriousness, there’s going to more wars eventually, so the Jedi need the clones, you’re not as easily disposable as you might think you are. And I’m sensing a doubt.”

He looked away from me.

This clone was thinking about leaving the Order, I didn’t have to use my gift to piece that together--it was written all over his face. I reminded him more desperately that he was more than just a soldier, and that there’s more than just a general and subordinate relationship that was built over time. I told him of Obi Wan’s fondness for Cody, and that I couldn’t even dream of getting that level of appreciation from my master. Of course Rex found that when I was serious was the best time to laugh. But hey, it made him ease up. 

“Did you know you’re Anakin’s favourite? He’s obviously infatuated with your abilities. And he says you have the most personality even though you’re kinda shy.”

“Shy?”

“Yeah. Not especially timid, just you never say what you’re really thinking because you don’t want to seem out of line. But Anakin likes you alot, he probably wouldn’t care if you told him if his hair was at an awkward length.” The hair thing was a reflection of my own thoughts, but Rex really was special to Master Skywalker. I hoped that telling him would make him aware that he really couldn’t be rid of. Calling him irreplacable in my eyes sounded too personal. I didn’t wanna sound like I was begging. But I would sure as ever leave if he ever actually left. I knew Rex was loyal to the Republic, so he’d never abandon me--I mean, us. 

“You’re very important.” I reiterated.

“Thank you, Commander.”

“You don’t have to call me that when we’re off duty, you know that.”

“Alright then. Thank you, Hina.”

Yikes, that definitely was not my name. I didn’t want to ruin the moment--if it even was a moment--but I didn’t want to encourage that behaviour. Hina wasn’t even a nickname to me, it never was. It would be like calling him R and that’s it; you might as well say the whole thing. Don’t be lazy. Obi Wan tried starting that trend when I first became his Padawan and even he grew out of it. Hina Ka rolls off the tongue so much better. Not adding Ka just changes the entire meaning of my name and it wasn’t anything endearing. Rex would grow out of it in due time.

“You’re welcome, Rex.” I personally preferred calling him Captain. I liked that sense of being inferior to him. I want him to take charge of me, order me around, treat me like I’m nothing but scum on the bottom of his boot. 

“Now that that is out of the way, I really had something I wanted to get off my chest.” 

I was halfway through my sentence and the blood was already going to my face. It was so unnecessary. I didn’t feel weird or anything, I just wanted to tell him. He looked serious. He made me a little nervous. Maybe I should’ve postponed it. His face read like he knew what I was going to say, but already didn’t like it. 

“Nevermind.” I started to use my hair to shield my face away from him. 

Rex moved my hair from away and his eyes were looking directly into mine as if he was looking for something. He was spectacular with the sun shining from behind him, illuminating his well-structured face. I wondered how I looked in the shade to him. I looked weird when I was sun kissed anyway.  
“Hina, you can tell me whatever it is that’s been on your mind. I wasn’t made to be judgemental.”

“I don’t wanna hurt your mood.”

“I’ve got tough skin.”

I bet he did. 

“When we were on that mission, and you called me swell, what did it mean to you?”

“Depends on what it meant to you.”

“I have my theories, but I didn’t want to assume it was any more or less than what you were trying to say. Please, shine the light.”  
He was thinking. His expressions were so distinct when he wasn’t on the field. The subtle cock of his brow, and the upturning of one side of his mouth. Rex gave me hope I didn't think I needed or even knew I wanted. 

“I think what I was trying to say was you have a great attitude when you want to, and in those rare times, it’s quite pleasant.”

And now he thinks I’m pleasant. He must read a thesaurus in his spare time because he was full of it, trying to sound like he ever went to school or something. Pleasant. Please! He was ridiculous, and he made me so upset. I wondered why I even wanted to be around him more than I had to. This must’ve been what Obi Wan meant when he told me this would only hurt me. I sure was getting a headache from all this. Why couldn’t it be easy like in the books? I wished he’d give a doshing straight answer. I felt like holding my saber to his neck would be the only way to get him to act right and stop dodging me.

“So swell just means I can appreciate the way you hold yourself..”

“The way I hold myself, okay. Give me an example, Captain.” I was becoming more than impatient with the clone. He was more difficult than dealing with Master when he was upset. 

“You care for your appearance.”

“So you think I’m attractive?”

“I think I figured out why I’m here.” 

“Congratulations! How long did that take you?”

“Not long.”

“Then why are we still talking?”

“Because you want an answer, don’t you?”

“Blast, Rex! You are so--just, ugh, I don’t even care anymore! This little facade you put on of cluelessness then suddenly you’re the brightest star in the gakaxy! I don’t care. Throw me off this ledge, please. I can’t with you right now. You are more all over the place than the whole battalion could ever be. Why are you like this? Are you trying to spare my feelings by being a buckethead who acts like he can’t form an explanation? ”Just be straight with me, I can take it.”

“I am being straight with you, Commander. That’s what swell meant to me. I put it as simply as I could. If you chose to inflate it to more than what was said, then that’s on you. I’m not the confusing one. Leave it to a harpy like you to confuse herself and make it seem like everyone else around her are the crazy ones. When you’re like this, I think it’s really kriffing irritating. No wonder you think your master prefers Cody over you; you can be so unbearable. I can’t imagine how he deals with the cesspool of emotions you display all at once.”

I could have thrown him over the ledge and make it seem like an accident, I honestly had the ability to. I really wanted nothing to do with him. He was never again going to talk to me like that, as if he knew anything about me. 

In the same instance, my heart broke. It shattered, and scattered around my other organs, cutting everything on the inside from the shards.  
He thought I was unbearable. I didn’t know my eyes were watering until I finally blinked after staring at him in disbelief for so long. Rex had gotten to me. I never had my chest feel so heavy. 

Obi Wan was right. I hated when he was right. Then I’d have to crawl back and tell him he was right. And then he would comfort me, while trying to hide a lesson in the consoling. I wasn’t trying to hear it. 

I wasn’t going to show my weakness to him. I reached for my lightsaber and activated it. He took a short step back, but he didn’t seem scared. I had forgotten that he didn’t have a weapon like mine. He had his blaster, so he knew that he could actually kill me. I could kill him too if I wanted to. I wasn’t upset with him anymore. If that was what he thought of me, I couldn’t sway him. I could find some other clone who’d actually treat me the way I wanted, who could get all my hints and act on them, who wouldn’t leave me wondering and would just tell me what was going on in their mind. Rex was too much of a prude, he didn’t understand the opposite sex. Why would he? He’s only concerned about one thing and it’s this war. I wasn’t even an afterthought. I couldn’t help but laugh at him. He was just such an idiot. I hoped he’d die on the next mission. I honestly never wanted to lay my eyes on him ever again. I disengaged my saber and attached it back to my hip. He didn’t deserve the time of day. The way I had been so straight with him all this time, I don’t know. I just wasted so much time chasing someone who didn’t give a ewok’s ass about me. It was all cool. I could just sleep with Fives or something since he thought I was infatuating enough to draw me like a whore. Yeah, Fives was a great candidate. He talked like he knew what he was talking about, and wasn’t shy. He seemed like the type to discreetly grope me while I was speaking to someone, or just straight up whsiper something totally vile in my ear while I was minding my own business. 

Oh, but I loved blonde hair so much. Five’s hair was just, i can’t even put my finger on it. All the clones had something about their appearence that could either make or break their level of attractiveness. Rex was absolutely perfect, like the firmest, sweetest piece of fruit. 

I wanted him more than ever. There was nobody else who made me feel as heated as he did, and I liked it. I figured I cared enough about him that he could get under my skin. I couldn’t bear to see him with anyone else. He was mine. He was going to be my heartache, my breakdown, I wanted him to be what kept me up at night with frustration. 

“Rex.”

“What?”

As agitated as he sounded, I decided one of us was going to be the mature one. I’d give him what I wanted from him. 

“I only brought you here because I wanted to tell you that I’ve been wanting your cloned dick for the longest time now. I literally cannot take it much longer. I had to use my lightsaber on myself to make it feel like you were there.”

Rex looked at me with a distressed expression.

“You used your...lightsaber?”

There he went, focusing on the wrong thing. Typical. 

“No, no. The handle end of it. That isn’t what was important. I want something with you. Sexually.”

“Oh, alright Commander.”

Was that it? Was that all it took? Was that all I GOT from that? Did this mean we’d just fuck right then and now? He wasn’t taking off his clothes or anything. Was I meant to initiate?

“I had a feeling.” 

Oh did he? See, now I knew he was definitely dodging me this whole time. 

“But I don’t just see you as an object of desire. I think of all the other ways you’re just spectacular. I’m not really good with communicating these things, so I apologize for making your life hell with my antics. I should have been straight forward with you from the first time I felt the spark. Rex, there’s just so many things I want to do to you and I just want to make you the happiest clone in the 501st, so I’m asking you to adjust take all of this into consideration before giving an answer.”

I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but his face read something of doubt and worry.

“I think I have your answer.”

“It’s been like half of a tick, did you really think about it?” 

“Yes, I have. I’ve been feeling a little alone myself for a bit, so I understand your need for a partner. I suggest we both get it out of our systems, and then move our focus back on the war. I need your head to be on straight during missions, Commander.”

Force, he was going to give me everything I ever wanted. Oh, but how blasphemous of me, to fornicate with a clone, in the shadows of the Jedi Temple. I was ashamed to admit that it made me even more excited than just the thought of finally having Captain Rex as my lover. My heart was beating at hyperspeed as he put his cold armoured hand on my burning face. The look he gave me was no different from any other time. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me in close for an embrace. I thought maybe he was going in for a kiss as well, but the position we were in left my chin resting on his shoulder. I was so nervous about the forthcoming events, I never hugged him back. The thought of the next few moments of my life having so much certainty in them with no way to go back or change it frightened me. Maybe this wasn’t what I wanted. I was scared. My body flushed with a cold sweat. My core jolted, as my nerves finally got the signal from my brain of how much I despise being touched and handled. But this was a once in a lifetime chance. I whined when he squeezed me just a little tighter. The grip felt so familiar, his warmth was like any other sleemo who saw me as an outlet for their sexual gratification as a young girl. My shoulders and back trembled with anxiety, and tremors began in my arm and chest. It felt like I was in his arms for hours, when it had only been a few moments. Once he let go of me, I realised how little time had gone by. He saw my flustered face and my glossy eyes and must’ve thought I was dying of anticipation from how slow things were moving. I had to remind myself that it was him, an honourable, high ranking, well respected, honest clone, and that I was no longer a child that he could view as an easy ten minutes. But whether or not he would know when to stop, or if he’d ask if was okay during it, rushed through my mind, Would he care for my pleasure or well being? Or would he just simply use me as a way to get him to entail his concentration? 

The slight grin on his face made me feel timid, like I was nothing but a speck of dust in the vast Galaxy, and he was the size of Tatooine’s sun. He put a hand on my shoulder to pat it, and gestured to follow him. I hoped that no one was occupying the space we had to walk through. Just to be safe, I told him I’d go the long way. Being the intelligent clone that he was, he figured I thought he meant he wanted to go to the barracks and get this over with. He then told me that he was just taking me back to my quarters, and that there was plenty to discuss on the stroll.


	14. Chapter 14

Hina Ka spread her legs, welcoming the calloused fingers of her Captain into her warm privates, Her legs were off the bed as he was on his knees in front of her, licking up whatever substance leaked on his digits. He swiped his tongue past her folds, flicking his tongue horizontally on her folds. She couldn’t be pleased by just his fingers. She begged him to enter, to use his hard, veiny dick that he had been blessed with. He, with no hesitation, toyed her clit with his pinkish tip, sliding it up and down past her hole. Hina Ka was becoming desperate, wanting him inside of her. Just as she was about to whine out and complain, he pushed his way inside of her warmness, stretching her walls. It wasn’t enough for her when he sheepishly began to pull in and out. She rolled her eyes. She didn’t expect her time to be wasted like that.

Rex saw, and grabbed her legs and threw them over his shoulders, Hoisting her up. He began slamming into her, resulting in her crying out, yelling profanities and encouragement. It wasn’t enough after a while. Hina Ka was bored with the rhythm, requesting to be put on her hands and knees. Now she didn’t have to use her face to make her performance more believable. She made her own beat, pushing her ass against him over and over, searching for that fabled sweet spot. 

He took advantage of her taking over, now being able to relish in the sight below. He spread her ass to see more of her. The view was fantastic. He pulled out, and forced himself into the hole above. It was definitely a chore. And Hina Ka wasn’t making it any easier. He grabbed her arms and used it as leverage to get deeper inside. The Chiss was writhing in pain underneath him, sobbing for him to stop. He continued, promising her that it would be over soon, that he was almost finished. Hina Ka cried into her sheets, slipping her hand down between her taint to make sure the liquids she felt weren’t of her own blood. Her body might as well have been in shock. Rex started jerking into her amateurishly as his reign was coming to an end. His cock sputtered with his semen, coating that tabooed exit of hers white. He swiftly pulled out, hoping he hadn’t made the mistake of cumming yet. Seeing his liquid pour out of her made his body freeze up for a minute. But he soon realised that the possibility that she could be impregnated by his wandering sperm was unlikely. She relapsed onto her bed, body flat. She screamed at him to get out of her quarters. 

Hina Ka could only hear the clanking of his armour being put back on, and prayed that when she turned around to look, she would only see her door closing shut. The one time she actually consented...of course it was soiled by that clone. She had thought so highly of him, defending him to herself in her own mind. Now her worst fear came true. He used her, took advantage of her, and she was unable to tell anyone. If she were to--yes, Rex would be tried, but she would be removed from the order if she had told the Council that she had been the one to approach him first in hopes to satisfy herself. Hina Ka covered her body with her outer tunic, and cried and cried until she had worn herself out and fell asleep.

That was when she woke up, sweating and with tears drying on her face. She looked down to see herself in the pajamas she had put herself in. She didn’t feel any lingering handprints on her skin. She was alone in her impenetrable bubble. Her breathing evened out, and she prepared to lay back down. She hadn’t sensed her Master observing her at the door. He had heard her screams and sleep talk from down the hall. He shook his head sympathetically, and sat on the cushion. It was familiar, she must’ve taken it from another room. Typical of her. She didn’t like sharing anything, even if it technically didn’t belong to her. He realized that about her the first week after her rescue. She didn’t want anyone carrying or holding her belongings.   
Hina Ka’s eyes were still open as she was facing the wall. He had scratched his beard, making enough noise for her to notice. Someone was in her quarters with her. In that moment of panic, she couldn’t sense that it was Obi Wan. She had sneakily snaked her hand down between the crevice of the bed and the wall and fished for her lightsaber. Once she had it in her grip, she shot up from under her sheets and lunged at what she believed was an intruder. 

Obi Wan was swift enough to dodge her attack. Hina Ka’s lightsaber was stuck in the wall. Obi Wan switched on the light to reveal himself as she continued to dislodge her weapon in a frantic hurry. He put a hand on her shoulder to make her aware there was no threat, and that it was only him. She sternly questioned him on what business he had in her quarters, to which he responded he heard her having a nightmare. Hina Ka looked at the ground descreetly as if she were trying to distance herself. It had to have been a nightmare. She was fully clothed and she felt untouched, and she would never allow for that to happen to herself. Her legs felt weak as she slid to the floor, covering her face with her hands. Obi Wan sat next to her and comforted her until she was ready to speak to him. She leaned onto his arm and reminded herself that everything was going to be okay.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I am so sorry about how long this build up is taking, but I promise you, it's coming. Can't rush these things. And did you notice how I started formatting the paragraphs? idk im just so proud of myself for figuring it out.

Hina Ka spent the morning right beside her master, where her place was. She didn’t wander off with Master Skywalker like she tended to, either to be with her Padawan friend or to have a closer look at Rex. She felt emotionally disconnected from him after last night. As much as she wanted to shake off her preconceived notions of how he’d treat her, the thoughts lingered. She would’ve loved to cling onto her master’s arm for comfort, but she didn’t want to seem like a helpless, lost youngling. Obi Wan eventually had more pressing matters to attend to, where she was dismissed along with his pet clone, Commander Cody. It was a surprise for her. He usually followed her master everywhere, probably even the restroom. She always thought their relationship was a little suspicious. But Obi Wan was still fawning over his politician; he didn’t have the time for two secrets with his schedule. 

Ahsoka was training with her master, so she couldn’t bother her, and Barris was off with her master on a mission. Of course the only two people in her league were occupied when she had free time. Rex wasn’t anyone she wanted to be around at the moment. She hadn’t even seen him all day. Maybe she could go meditate and improve herself as a Jedi. 

Meh.

She smiled up at the clone and batted her eyelashes. She didn’t know if he was looking at her with his helmet on, but she sensed his lack of enthusiasm already without even knowing what she was going to suggest. Maybe he was a bit more particular about following regulation. But there was no rule against hanging out with your general’s padawan. 

“‘79’s?” she inquired.

“I should stay nearby.”

“Master is probably gonna be busy for some time. Might as well get some air. Or, maybe you just like to wait on hand and foot like the respectable commander you are.”

“You can’t persuade me, Esme.”

“So be it. But can I ask one favor of you?” she twiddled her fingers coyly as she gave the clone the best puppy dog eyes she could. “You’re not going to tell Obi-Wan of my whereabouts.”

“Sounds more like a command than a favor.”

“Great, so you’ll do it. Bye.”

And with that, Hina Ka went out at the break of noon to throw a portion of her life away. Around that time of the day, the population was busy being productive members to society. She pictured having the place all to herself, excluding the bums who were supposed to be at work but actually lost their jobs months ago, but have to keep face so they lurk around for a few hours. She didn’t even change out of her robes before leaving, and only noticed as she walked past a window. She ditched the black tabbard and grey robe somewhere in a tight corner no one would bother reaching into. Although, now she felt too exposed in just her undershirt. It was tight, and her breasts made that obvious stretch across her fabric to where you could almost see her bra. But it was better than being recognized. She let her hair fall over her shoulders to give herself a sense of privacy.  
When she passed through 79’s door, there were--unfortunately--too many familiar faces. She shielded her face and ordered at the bar. She threw back drink after drink until she couldn’t read the clock. It wasn’t her intention, but getting that ditzy feeling was sort of fun for her. Not being responsible for her actions made her feel great. 

And a few hours later, everyone’s shifts ended and they started pouring into the club. More and more clones she recognized from missions started their rowdy escapades. She was getting bumped into as drunkards passed, and now people were beginning conversations with her as they realized who she was. She could barely put together a sentence. 

A couple of clones began to surround her and started a group together for the night. Hina Ka insisted she was finished drinking now, as she had been there all day. But they egged her on, just a few more. 

All of their faces were beginning to merge into one face, like the default of their design. The clones were smart enough to know when to quit, and got a round of water. One of them had completely let loose, telling her about all the things he could do to her. This was when she was on her way to the restroom to sober up. She didn’t know who it was, but she could make out the blue striped armour. But it wasn’t Rex; he had a beard. It was probably that other clone, what was his name? She didn’t care at the moment. She just wanted to see how messed up she looked. 

After splashing water on her face, she came back out and the clone had gone back to wherever. She turned around the corner and saw her master’s clone entering. He was probably coming to collect her. She hid, not wanting to leave. 

She sat on the ledge of the sink for at least half an hour before deciding to own up and face him. And she could go for another shot. She’d just ignore him if they saw each other. 

Hina Ka strolled back into sight and went right to the bar where Cody sat, sipping on what looked like the world’s fruitiest cocktail. She laughed right in his face at his choice, to which he gave her a dry look. She didn’t even get her drink, it was like she went over there only to patronize him. She was on the dance floor in no time. Her drunken confidence had her brain clouded to how crazy she really looked. The music didn’t fit the dances she was performing. The high tempo was something she couldn’t keep up with. It was only a minute until someone came up behind her and began leading the dance. She felt peach fuzz on the nook of her neck where the stranger’s chin rested. She didn’t care who it was, it felt nice. Her bottom pushed up against their groin, and their grip around her waist tightened. Her hands snaked up from their hands and went to feel their neck and hair. With her arms raised, they moved their hands more towards her chest, where they lingered until Hina Ka put them right where she wanted—on her breasts, squeezing ever so tenderly. Their mouth was close enough to her ear, and she could hear them sigh. They began leaving pecks around the back of her neck. Hina Ka exhaled heavily, becoming more and more excited as the kisses continued. She turned to see her suitor, and her eyes went wide to where they could’ve popped from her skull. 

“Cody?!” 

Oh, the realization sobered her up so quickly. 

“Oh kriff, Commander. I had no idea.”

They separated, now very uncomfortable in their own skin. Their faces showed immense amounts of guilt mixed with the prior expressions of lust.   
“How-how did you not know?” Hina Ka pulled her hair back over her shoulders to cover her more exposed upper half. The touching had made more cleavage show, so she adjusted her shirt higher. “I thought you just saw me.”

“With all the flashing, colored lights, I couldn’t tell you from any other lady in here. I didn’t think you’d be dancing either.”

“I thought you weren’t coming.” 

“No offense, but I came with some of my brothers, I wasn’t expecting to possibly run into you. But yes, I changed my mind.”

“That’s...that’s fine.”

They couldn’t look at each other. They stood on the busy dancefloor completely still. Hina Ka stroked her hair, and Cody scratched the back of his neck. They both subconsciously went back to the bar and got another drink. Hina Ka went in for a couple more after Cody went back to his brothers. She was looking at him the whole time, how his mouth moved, how his eyebrows raised before he laughed. Her body felt cold, even with all the alcohol in her system. 

He saw her, sitting on that stool with an empty shot glass in her hand. She looked lost in thought.

Hina Ka flipped her hair to one side, revealing her neck. Her straps were almost completely off her shoulder. She saw Cody excuse himself, and walk off to probably solicit that slender bright pink Twi-lek who had just gotten off the pole. She never figured Cody would be that type of clone. 

But then she felt stupid, as it wasn’t Cody she saw. She had noticed that the clone didn’t have a prominent scar on the side of his face. 

And that’s when the real Commander came to her, from the front this time. She got up, and he followed close behind her, but not too close as to create any suspicion among the other clones. 

Hina Ka grabbed him and pulled him into one of the private rooms in the back of the club. 

“I’m sorry, I just need you to assure me you’re not gonna tell Obi Wan anything. He’d kill me, Cody.” 

“You didn’t see me, I didn’t see you.” He reasoned. 

But thinking about Obi Wan finding out about the whole frottage thing, or even just her being back at this place again. She should’ve just stayed at the temple and meditated. She’d been gone all day. He had to have tried to look for her at least a few times within the time.   
“I’m still a little nervous. He can practically read my mind.” 

The music was half blasting through the thin walls. The room had deep purple lights illuminating it and a single black sofa. Neither of them were sitting on it, knowing full well of what could’ve happened on it. 

“My lips are sealed.”

Then they looked back at each other. Cody was the first to look away. He headed for the black painted door. Hina Ka had something else to say, and she made a little noise by accident. Cody turned to face her again. 

“Did you say something, Esme?” He went back to her. 

Hina Ka looked right through his brown windows, and in unison, they reached for each other’s faces. Their lips collided hard, making a clunk noise in the process. Hina Ka’s hands roamed all over that clone’s armour, and that clone did the same, showing a preference for her chest. Their lips never parted. He pulled her straps down roughly, and then pulled down her shirt with just as much force. Her breasts jumped from her shirt and bra. Her hands were busy and shaky trying to undo the armor. Piece after piece, Cody was only armored from the knee down. He pressed his body against her. His heat was like nothing she ever experienced. He was scorching, probably searing his imprint on her body. Cody’s hands played with her exposed parts, making circles with them, and then just resorting to squeezing them roughly. He lifted her and pinned her to the wall closest to the door. She wrapped her legs around his abdomen, bringing him as close to her as possible. His tongue swirled around her mouth, and her tongue swirled around his. He was strong enough to hold her up with one hand, using the other to comb his fingers through her hair. He was being so rough with her, and she didn’t want him to be gentle. He lowered her a little, just so that their privates were on each other. He grinded on her, and she returned each movement. His tongue finally exited her mouth, and she whined as if it was the only thing keeping her alive. He moved back to her neck, leaving those innocent little kisses all over. Each one made her more sensitive than the last. She reached into his blacks, but not past the fabric of his boxers. She gripped his shaft, and he began sucking on her neck. Hina Ka fought back anymore noises. He sucked to the rhythm of her hand. She pumped him faster, and he moaned into her neck, sending the vibrations down her spine. He began doing the same to her jawline. She wanted him to touch her...down there. Her clit pulsated, practically begging to be touched. But she didn’t want to ask. 

And thankfully she didn’t have to. He went past her pants and her underwear, and palmed the whole vagina, teasing the hole ever so often, and squeezing it’s lips between two fingers. He tried kissing her again, but the way he was pumping his fingers in and out of her made her lips a moving target. 

He was going back in on her neck, now the other side, when the door opened. Both of their heads turned, and they managed to separate themselves before the person could walk through the threshold. Whoever it was, they were really taking their sweet time. Cody had the time to fix Hina Ka’s shirt to make her decent. 

Hina Ka gasped seeing Rex’s blond head walk through with a harlot. She was a human with some type of dress made of nothing but mesh. 

Hina Ka shoved past the pair and left out of 79’s. She was fuming. Her entire body was flushed purple from the red of her blood. Her head was probably smoking. She stomped around the level, trying to calm down before going back to the temple. She was appalled. Did they not make an agreement? She must’ve dreamed that too by the way he just straight up tarnished his word. She expected so much from him. He probably slept with a million whores. She kicked a full can of garbage over the ledge. The weight of it felt good on her foot, it felt close enough to actually kicking him. It probably made the same noise as his armor too. She could never trust him again. He had no excuse for that. She’d never think of him again. That was the end of it. 

Back at the temple, Hina Ka laid awake on her bed, staring at the ceiling. But she was calm. It was just her karma. She couldn’t be upset, because she would be a hypocrite. There was nothing going on through her head besides the noises of the night. She couldn’t even think about her unfinished business down there, despite the constant throbbing of it. Her eyes fell to the floor as she rolled over onto her side. She was hungry now. Thinking about it, she remembered she actually hadn’t eaten the whole day aside from the ice cubes in her drinks.The mess hall was always open, but she didn’t feel like getting up. She’d eat when she woke up. 

Hina Ka left her quarters a few times. She forgot she had her clothes stashed away in a corner, and she gave into her feelings of hunger and went to the mess hall, and then she did wind sprints up and down the corridors, as she found herself restless.


	16. Chapter 16

It had been a few rotations since the whole incident. Or should I say incidents, plural. I felt especially crappy about the Cody thing. As I was still quarantining myself from the 501st’s captain, he was the only clone I was really exposed to that I knew enough. I’d ogle at him through the holograms that separated us. When I was looking away, I could sense his gaze, but it was usually a quick glance and nothing more. We didn’t dare go back to each other for more. Twice would be too risky. Did I mention I was on a very tight leash? Yeah, Obi Wan knew the whole time, but only dropped the bomb on me today. I’d never seen him so angry with me. He practically screamed his head off. When he left my quarters, his hair was disheveled from his frantic exaggerations and movements. He didn’t scold Cody though, he didn’t even question his whereabouts. That was something I could never wrap my head around in terms of their relationship. Cody never had to ask Obi Wan permission for anything, yet I did. I was older than Cody, technically, but I was the one treated like a child. I don’t know how their bond grew so strong. I hated Cody much more than I could ever possibly lust for him. Reminding myself of them made me envious with no bounds. He was my competitor. I regretted our time together. He was such a kiss ass. They had to be betrothed by the way they were just always within each other’s bubbles. That night must’ve been the longest the Commander was ever away from his precious General. 

I couldn’t stand looking at him. His scar was tragically ugly, and he never smiled. He was an uptight clone, probably didn’t even develop a sense of independent thinking. Living his life only making decisions when ordered...I could never. I could care less about the briefing taking place right in my line of vision. I’m honestly a horrible commander, I don’t stress myself over strategies and formations. I only got the title because I was bothering Master about it, making arguments about how Ahsoka was one but how I was there longer than her. It was informal. Everyone honored it, so I always appreciated that. But we all knew I was just a Padawan with just the right amount of say in some matters. 

I was going to leave and go meditate--yes, actually--but Obi Wan held onto my shoulder, making me sit back down. Joke’s on him. Everything he said went into one ear and out the next. 

The doors slid open, and Master Skywalker and Rex walked in, late to the briefing as usual. Anakin must’ve always had something more pressing to tend to. I recognized the severity of these things and came on time, even if I didn’t pay attention sometimes. 

Rex stood beside his General. You could’ve heard my eyes roll to the back of my head. I shook my head as subtly as I could. I decided to space out. I focused really hard on the hologram until it was the only thing in focus. My ears rang from the silence I was honing in on.

It felt like just a few minutes, but it had been an hour when I came back. Everyone was packing up and leaving the room. I scurried to sort the data pads before my master and his former Padawan exited. Obi Wan had no choice but to wait for me anyway since he swore he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. But he stepped away to talk to Anakin. I was alone with Rex at the round table. He was looking at me right in my face like he was innocent. I sucked my teeth at him and turned my chair away. And he had the gaul to step right in front of my face. 

“May I speak with you, Commander?”

Rex was smart, too smart. He knew we’d have to keep face. Now I had to talk to him. I wish I could’ve just hit him. 

I looked over to Obi Wan, who nodded his head at me. I wished he hadn’t given Rex permission like that, as if I had no say. I thought he understood my nightmare, but I guess he never concerned himself with the perp. 

I didn’t respond to Rex, just followed him out. He had me in the corner shortly after the door closed behind us. I don’t like being against the wall against my will. I don’t think anyone does. 

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

“Why does it matter to you?”

Rex looked absolutely drained when he took off his helmet. I almost felt bad, honestly. I hadn’t been thinking of him at all. I didn’t lose a wink of sleep over him, unlike him apparently. Poor clone had bags, not too dark but noticeable from where I was. And along with that, it looked like he hadn’t shaved since; it wasn’t much, but, again, enough to notice after a week of not seeing him. 

“Please,” he sounded so desperate. It made my heart sink. But he knew what he was doing with that harpy. “Hina Ka, I need you to tell me.”

“You know why.”

“No, don’t even use that as an excuse. You were doing it before that. I just need you to be upfront with—look at me—I need you to be open and explain.”

“Well think if you made an attempt to approach me at all this week.” I crossed my arms at him. He wasn’t going to get through me. 

He groaned, the raspy, throaty kind. 

“I’ve been trying! But you’ve been avoiding me. How do you think I noticed how distant you became? I wasn’t the one dodging you.” I don’t know why he sounded so mad, like he was about to strike me or something for being difficult. 

But yes, he’s been trying to talk to me ever since. But I made sure I was around someone important enough that he couldn’t pull me away from. I didn’t owe him anything, especially an explanation. I was having an amazing clone free week, I really was. All of them take the life right out of me, especially the 501st. The 212th is barely less bearable. 

“Look, I don’t wanna talk about it. I was already feeling iffy about you over something, and then for me to see you with a hooker after you said we’d try...it hurt.” 

Talking about what made me upset always made me tear up, even when I wasn’t mad. Now he thought I was pissed. I really wasn’t. I just really didn’t wanna think back to that night. For that split second, it really did destroy me from the inside. 

He was smart enough to not attempt to physically comfort me. I was able to suck the one stinging tear back up. But I couldn’t relax my eyebrows.   
“Here’s the thing, if you had let me explain—“

“Explain what?! What was there to explain? I really don’t wanna hear it, honestly, I don’t care. I’ve moved on. I was nothing but an easy fling for you. You never even told me how you feel about me. You just agreed to fuck me.”

Rex was rubbing his temples, very, very slowly, as if it was the only thing keeping him from jumping at me. 

“Hina, I like you. There, is that straightforward enough?” 

“I know.”  
No I hadn’t. 

“So why would you think I would choose anyone over you?”

“Then why were you with her?” 

I was a little bit taken aback that Obi Wan hadn’t come out and checked on me. I figured we were being rowdy enough. 

He exhaled fairly loud. 

“I was collecting my men. It was late. And I just so happened to run into her. She was on the floor near the bar, and she had obviously been drugged, so I decided to be a good man and bring her back to lay down. I didn’t want to sleep with her; that stuff doesn’t come to my mind unless...unless I’m around you.”

I was so quick to believe him. He was a terrible liar, I’ve seen him try. But what he told me was so thorough, rational and sincere. I felt horrible for ever doubting him. 

We both seemed to become less tense at the same time. I felt like the worst person ever though. He looked relieved to have finally told me, but disappointed that I ever doubted him. He’d looked like he’d gone through hell over me, and there I was, after a week of not considering his feelings, just standing there looking stupid. 

“I apologize.” It was the least I could do, really. I took his hand and brought it to my face and cupped it against my cheek. He smiled a tiny bit, just a little really, you could barely tell. But it was there. He put his other hand on my face, and stroked me with both of his thumbs. 

“I really do think you’re great.”

I stroked his face back. He was nothing less than perfect. He didn’t even bring up what I was doing with Cody that night. It probably brought him a lot of unease and he didn’t want to think about it at all. He really did deserve better. I was a terrible person. But he still liked me despite how terribly I treated him. 

My chest pounded as he brought me forward, closer to his face. His forehead touched mine. It’s like he was allergic to my lips. He never had tried to kiss me. Maybe he just understood my physical boundaries. He was really just a nice guy. 

“I’ve missed you.” 

“I missed you too.” I still felt like I didn’t do enough to show I really regretted my actions. 

I heard the door open, so I gave him a quick smooch on the cheek before Master stepped out. I felt pretty accomplished. Rex was so cute and smiling as he felt his face in disbelief. He was so precious. I already couldn’t wait to see him again and really make everything up to him. But it would have to wait, as I was still on lockdown.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pressure is on Hina Ka as she has to finally make her decision

I remember getting caught trying to slip out from the window. I only fell a few meters, but it was enough to have me limping around. When I looked back up, Obi Wan was shaking his head at me. Believe me when I say I wasn’t sneaking out to see my clone or to go back to that club. I wanted to see my friends. Even if I had told him, he probably wouldn’t trust me and would make me turn around. 

I tried to ignore him and hop off to the meet up point. I couldn’t pretend like I didn’t hear him calling me though. I really did try to. My leg started to hurt too much anyway. They’d understand. I had to lay down for a second. I must’ve been in shock or something, but my leg started shooting pain. I could feel tingles in my hip. My ankle was totally numbed and the pain was mostly in my shin. I couldn’t even bend it at that point. Knowing Master, he probably would’ve left me out there overnight out of pettiness. But I didn’t expect him to come running out. He must’ve seen the anguish in my face that I was genuinely hurt. He picked me up very delicately even though I insisted I was fine. I didn’t want his pity. If he had given me a few minutes, I could’ve gotten up on my own. 

Yeah, it ended up being a lot worse than I had thought. The whole thing was broken from the knee down. And that one bone in my thigh was fractured. I was going to be out of commission for a long time. At least I didn’t get one of those cybernetic limbs. I would never love myself again if that had happened. I had the galaxy’s fattest cast on though. It was so ugly. I had asked the medical droid why I couldn’t just get a bacta patch or something more sleek and elegant. And then I got the spiel about how the patches would be better used for wounded clones, as if I wasn’t important or injured enough. 

I left on crutches like a loser. It was humiliating. Whenever I got asked what happened, I had to explain to them I fell from a window after disobeying my master. And then all that sympathy I got was taken right back from me. I guess that was my punishment. 

After a day or two, I was able to go back to my quarters for recovery. I couldn’t sleep comfortably or even just sit. I was constantly in a split or some weird position due to the stiffness of the cast. It was itchy too. I would’ve been better off if I never went to the medic. 

Obi Wan came in with Anakin. Ahsoka had holocalled me earlier, telling me I was an idiot and should’ve went through the front door like a normal person. She was brutal. 

Anakin honestly thought giving me the same lecture Obi Wan gave me would do me any good. He needed to focus on his own Padawan. She was worse than I was when it came to respect. I had nothing to do with her acting so sassy, she got that on her own. 

I needed my alone time. I hadn’t brushed my hair or anything yet that morning. I wanted to get out of the clothes I had on. Thankfully they both left.   
I used the Force to bring my brush to me. Right as I got to around twenty strokes, my door just opened. Whoever it was didn’t even knock. I could’ve been naked for all they knew. 

It was my favorite clone. Of course it was. Just because he was my favorite didn’t mean he could just waltz in whenever without warning. He handed me a piece of paper, which was a little card that had some other clones’ names signed, telling me to get better. They were thoughtful, but it just didn’t mean much to me. I thanked him regardless. 

“Obi Wan said no visitors.” I told him. 

“I’ll make it quick then.” 

He sat on my bed behind me and began to brush through my hair for me. He didn’t know what he was doing; he was starting from my roots. But it was still very nice of him. He started brushing my hair to one side, and went in on the nape of my neck. I let out a little noise, making sure I wasn’t too loud. But I wanted to let loose so badly. His hands stroked my bare shoulders. He kissed around my earlobes and pulled my shirt down to where my breasts were freed. I was nervous and tried to cover myself. He was behind me anyway. He stopped everything and just took the time to hug me. He let go and moved so that he was in front of me. He cupped my face in his hands and squished my face. We both went in for our first kiss. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered about as my heart beat out of my chest. I never felt sparks like that ever in my life. It felt so natural and clean. It was nothing like with Cody, which just felt rushed and super needy. This was slow and sensual. I was shamefully getting turned on by just the kissing. Rex started to rub my breasts. Why did they all do that? All the clones must have weekly meetings about my boobs or something, because they all seemed to view them as my best asset. From that pin up, to Cody, and now Rex. I didn’t mind, I just thought it was just a really convenient coincidence. 

I got that nervous feeling in my gut. I didn’t want to push myself, but he was already here. I would’ve felt bad if I told him to stop and leave so soon.   
“You’re tense.” He observed. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” I said almost too quickly. Now I sounded desperate. I put his hands back on my chest, from there he moved down to my sides and kissed me again. I took the liberty of taking his armour off, just the upper body parts though. I was eager to see his toned chest and arms more than anything. Once I had finished, he took off the thick, long black sleeved shirt that was underneath. Much to my surprise, there was another shirt under that one, which was grey and short sleeved. He hadn’t taken that one off though. Maybe he was shy. Like, I should’ve been shy, my entire top half was right out in his face. 

He laid me on my back and slid off the rest of my romper. I was completely naked now. My legs were locked at the knees, and I wasn’t budging. I felt like I had a million eyes on me. He kissed my good foot all the way up to my tightly clamped knee. He gently created space between my legs, which he filled shortly after with his body. All I could feel was his cold codpiece against my skin. When I finally had the courage to look at him, he was busy looking all over my body. He looked as if he had never in his life seen a woman naked. Or maybe I wasn’t what he was expecting. I started to feel insecure. I covered myself with the little bit of blanket I was able to pull over. His tongue travelled from my belly button up to my nipples and he started sucking on them like he was trying to get something out of them. It was amazinng. I had definitely let a moan out from that. It only encouraged him more. It had been only a few seconds and I was already twisting and turning, silently begging him for more. He stopped only to take off the remainder of his clothes and armour. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing in front of me. He was everything I thought he’d be. His body was perfect. He was evenly melanated, and just a wonderful sight. I had never thought I’d have the honour. 

The icing on the cake was his penis. I feel disgusting talking about how perfectly sculpted it was. But it was magnificent. The tip was that dark, rosy pink, and the length was just enough, maybe even more. It was heavy from what I could tell. It stuck out instead of up. 

He sat back down on the bed and turned me on my stomach, and from there, he lifted my legs up over his shoulders before laying on his back. I didn’t know what he was trying to do. But his tongue immediately lapped at my private part. My eyes went wide from the feeling of his wet tongue on me. It didn’t even feel like anything for the most part. That was until he entered a finger inside of my vagina, and licked my clit. He had found it surprisingly fast. He must’ve studied women’s anatomy before he came over. I was feeling so good, I could’ve finished then and there. I felt bad though, because I knew there was no way he was getting pleasure from pleasing me. So I put his dick in my mouth, and sucked it. It was right in my face the whole time, I didn’t know why it took me so long to piece it together. And it did the trick. Now he was moaning as much as I was. He sounded great, I never wanted it to end. I picked up that he liked it most when I was sloppy with it. It would twitch, and his hips would start circling, and he’d become so distracted that he stopped working on me for a few seconds. I started to taste his fluids. It sort of tasted like, watered down something. I could drink it from a twenty ounce cup. 

He struck me on my butt.

“Slow down.” He let out shakily. 

“Does it hurt?”

“No, I just want to savour this moment.”

He was such a hypocrite, because he was treating my pussy like it was a bowl of soup, and was slurping me up like it was the end of the world. I had reached that point of no return. I tried to fight it, but my leg went limp, and I couldn’t stop my body from tensing up. And then that warmness in my stomach flooded down to my vagina and it pulsated as I came right on the clone’s face. 

“I am so sorry.” I said as I got off his face. He wiped his face on my ass, and then gave my recovering clit a kiss.

“Nothing to apologize for, Hina.” He sat up and he started kissing me all over my face. 

I felt so embarrassed. My face was nothing other than red. I had never felt so overheated before. I sort of wanted to cry. Everything I was feeling was so intense. 

“Am I better than your lightsaber?”

I didn’t think he would remember that. But I pursed my lips and covered my face from him. I actually cried from the shame of it all. And then I started thinking about Master. He told me not to have anyone in my quarters, and here we were. What if he came back in? I wondered if I’d be expelled, or if Master would even tell. Even if he didn’t, he’d never look at me the same. I pictured how distant we would become. Our bond would be reduced to nothing. He wouldn’t even claim me as his Padawan. 

“Hey, hey, I was just messing with you.” Rex hugged me and kissed my head. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m scared, Captain.”

“Hina, what you just did was a natural res--”

“No, no, not about that. I can’t do this right now. Rex, I’m sorry. This isn’t right.”

“I understand. Do you want me to leave you?”

I wanted his company, but it was for the best that he left. I nodded my head, and he hugged me and stroked my hair for a little bit before packing up and leaving. I felt so guilty. I never would’ve thought I’d cry after getting what I wanted. I felt even worse for Rex. I hadn’t given him what he wanted, yet he worked so hard to make me feel good. I felt overwhelmed. I covered myself with my blanket and buried my face in the mattress. I never felt more humiliated in my whole life. What if people heard us? I couldn’t bear thinking about any other possibilities.


	18. Chapter 18

Once she was healed, Hina Ka was back to her usual self. She began taking her studies more seriously and was beginning to regain the trust that she had lost with her Master. Her ways in the Force were much stronger, but she unfortunately had cut out lightsaber training. Her mental state was more important than her physical state. Hina Ka hadn’t gone to any physical therapy appointments, and maybe that explained the squeakiness of her joints. But it was nothing that meditating couldn’t help. She had been on a clone cleanse ever since that day with Captain Rex. At least now he understood the need for distance. They’d still exchange glances and touches, but they knew it could never be more than that. He was so accessible with Obi Wan being much more lenient. But Hina Ka could never risk upsetting her Master again. Rex was a luxury now. Hina Ka missed him. Her jealousy made its second debut. On those missions where the women were a little too grateful, or when they were systems away and unable to even hear each other’s voices, Hina Ka thought she was losing him. 

On one lucky evening on Onderon, the two were able to sneak away before they left to return to Coruscant. The sky was that bright shade of lavender that Hina Ka enjoyed so much. She tried to incorporate into everything she wore or had. It was just simply gorgeous. 

While the rebels were fighting to take back their homes, Rex and Hina Ka were on the ship’s barrack waiting for their generals to board. The door was locked shut for their privacy. They were only talking, telling each other how decent the other looked in their rebel clothes. Hina Ka kept affirming that Rex was an amazing teacher, and in return, he was very modest. She began cupping his face lovingly, and soon swung one leg over the Captain to be facing him in his lap. Rex had a confused expression on his face, and was quick to question her intentions. Hina Ka told him that she wasn’t doing anything at all, just getting a good look at him. Rex was already doubting her before she dove into the nape of his neck and began sucking at the skin. He held her by the waist, sure to refrain from making any obscene noises as she finished. There was definitely a mark. He wondered how he’d explain it when his brothers would notice in the showers. They were all well immersed enough with the world outside the 501st to know it wasn’t a wound. He tensed up feeling her lips travel up to his ear, where her tongue poked out and started licking it slowly. The back of Rex’s head relaxed on the wall. Hina Ka was able to grind down onto his lap easily without all of his armour in the way. He hugged her tighter as she pushed herself against him. She left more marks along his neck before pulling away from him. His face was tinted pink and his eyes were half shut. She loved being the only one to see him like that. She removed his hat and goggles and sat them on the floor. She unbuttoned his grey jacket and yanked it off his body. As impressed as he was with how hungrily she yearned for him, he had to know why she was so motivated.

In reality, Hina Ka just wanted to feel him and have him to herself, even if it was for just a few minutes. It might as well have been forever since they were alone. Like, really alone. 

“My body has been aching for you, Captain. I can’t handle it anymore.”

Hearing that combination of words made Rex stiff in a very specific area. Hina Ka continued their frottage. Their chins were on each other’s necks as they used one another’s body for stimulation. Rex’s gloved hands were gripped around her rear while her hands remained around his shoulders. They kissed briefly before Hina Ka took off the rest of her clothes in front of him, making a show from it. She stripped painfully slowly. Her robes dropped at her feet, then her pants. She was in her underwear now. Hina Ka undid her bra, and for the finale, turned away from Rex as she pulled down her panties, bending over enough to show him everything he wanted to see. Now his body ached for her. A jolt went streaking through his body, making him grip his pants. Hina Ka stopped before he tried to get rid of them, saying that they made him look sexy. She grazed his chest with her slender fingers, and then undid his pants just enough to get his penis out. The tip was nice and sleek with his precum, which she thirstily sucked up. She teased the slit with the tip of her tongue, eliciting a low moan from the clone. With him still seated, she got back on top of him. Her entrance and his head were close enough that they could feel each other. 

“Are you sure you want to do this? Here?”

“It’s too late for all that, Rex.” she stroked his blazing hot skin. “Unless, you’d rather not.”

“I’d love nothing more. I’m just worried about you.”

“Don’t be. We’re going to both finish this time, I swear I won’t make us stop.”

“Hina, if you ever feel like you need a rest, just tell me. I want this to be good for you.”

“I want the same for you.” Hina Ka lowered herself more, feeling the pressure of Rex’s tip ready to enter. But he lifted her back off him.

“Before we go any further, have you done this before?”

Hina Ka nodded her head.

“I’m going to need you to use your words from here on out.”

“Like, it’s been done to me before, so I have the gist.”  
Rex was a smart clone. He knew what that meant. He had become fluent in Hina Ka’s fluent language of beating around the bush. He shook his head, feeling guilty to be the first man in a long time to enter her, the first man to probably ever respect her and treat her as worthy of affection and love, and not just use her as a one way trail to climax. He hugged her tight, and she allowed it. She regretted her words, not wanting Rex to pity her the whole time. 

“I swear, I would never do anything to you like that. But please, if at any point you feel uneasy, just be vocal with me.”

“Okay.”

“I want this to be good for you.” He repeated.


	19. Chapter 19

Hina Ka’s arms tightened around Rex’s shoulders as he slowly, slowly pushed past the folds of her warm, wet vagina. His arms were locked around her waist, and his face was between her breasts, taking in the faint smell of purchased body wash, definitely not the mete out kind the clones used. It was wonderful. His dick felt at home inside of her. They stayed like that for a bit; no thrusting or impatience, just enjoying the closeness of their lover’s warmth. Rex took a familiar fondness in Hina Ka’s chest. He adored their shape and decent size. The colour was just a shade off from her face.

“You are so beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“So, so, so beautiful.” he kissed her shoulder, and just went around her body, caressing all the bare skin. 

Hina Ka melted into his hands. She loved the way he roamed her and how his fingers would stroke her. She circled her hips, trying to fill his hands up more while they perched on her butt. They both sighed blissfully as the sensation of their sex took over once more.

“How do you feel?” he asked her.

“I feel ready.”

Rex kissed her. Hina Ka lifted herself up, and back down again, developing her own rhythm while Rex let her adjust the speed. Each time, she became more and more rapid. Rex almost couldn’t keep up. In only a few seconds, Hina Ka was riding his dick like it was the hundredth time. Hina Ka was just as vocal as he thought. She wasn’t afraid to express how great his cock felt filling her up. He always had known through that mean demeanor and dismissive attitude, there was a very loud, and shameless moaner. He was just as guilty though. He feared the sensation of emasculation from being so open with his noises, and fought them back for as long as he could. 

He began thrusting up into her, getting his dick in as deep as he could. Hina Ka was panting heavily. Rex’s name escaped her lips over and over. Her back arched more with every thrust. Their bodies were already covered in a thin layer of sweat from the vigor. Hina Ka bounced on and off his dick, fully releasing his cock before slamming back down on it. Rex’s eyes rolled back into his head as she dominated him. Her breasts’ movement was nothing less than spectacular. His legs were becoming tight from her weight. It was like he was doing all the work. 

“Rex?” she called as she fully sat down on his dick, moving herself forward and back. Rex whined, already missing the action. He was able to relax. That was when he realized the fingernail dents he had left on her perfect azure skin. 

“Is it too much?”

“It’s just enough. But I’m starting to lose leverage.” she kissed his love bite. “Do you want to take over?”

“It’s going to be different from what you just got used to.”

“Please, I just really want you to fuck me. Anyway is fine, I just want to feel you and how you like it.”

Without another word, Rex placed her on her back. He was back inside of her with full control and force. Hina Ka’s legs wrapped around him , bringing herself as close to him as she could. Rex was now able to get a good look at her face, how she reacted when he hit certain spots, and how helpless she looked. Her hands were gripping the sheets as he fucked her, full throttle. Her moans became more whiny when he used a thumb to toy with her protruding clit. Her legs uncrossed and one slipped off the side. Rex flung the other one over his shoulder and began fucking her even harder and faster now that he had something to hold onto. He leaned forward to kiss her, stretching her just to her limit of flexibility. They kissed sloppily, sighing and moaning into each other’s mouths. He started to become sloppy with his movements, transitioning into more amateur jerks. His cock pulsed. His acceleration dropped drastically. He tried his best to fight his imminent release. Rex didn’t want it to end so soon. Hina Ka propped herself up on her shoulders, feeling the obvious change of pace. He was putting less of himself inside of her, actually taking the consequences into consideration. 

He was pushing himself now. His cock went into her hard and deep, but just much more infrequent.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” he said shakily. His arms gave out and he collapsed on her, still trying to maximize his movements. Hina Ka felt amazing. The suddenness of his movements kept her guessing and it made her just the slightest bit hornier. His sweat and fluids mixed with hers, the heat radiating from his blonde head, and the throatiness of his grunts made her pussy tingle. She sensed he was losing himself though. His face had changed, and now he wasn’t moving in and out of her cunt that was dripping wet for him. Was he tired of it? Was it too wet? 

He was swift to relieve himself from the wonderful wetness. Rex stroked himself ambitiously for a few seconds. Shortly after, he came on her stomach and thighs, with some making its way all the way to her chest. There was so much, Hina Ka thought. He was shooting his ropes on her for at least ten ticks, and he was looking her right in the eyes as he did it, weakly smirking at her. 

He was catching his breath as he laid down next to her. They smiled at each other. Hina Ka trailed her finger over her leg, and brought it to her mouth, wanting to taste the fruits of their labour. 

“You’re absolutely wonderful, Hina.”

“You’re absolutely great at what you do.”

Hina Ka kissed him all over his face as one leg was wrapped around him. He stroked her hair. They felt complete in each other’s arms. Nothing could ever top the feeling that they felt in that moment. For once, Hina Ka wasn’t worried about the consequences and was able to enjoy the after care with her lover. She thought about how she wanted him to degrade her before and to treat her as anything other than a person. But this was much better. She kissed him again, and watched as his eyes got heavier and heavier. 

“I’m so tired.” he said with his eyes closed.

“I would figure. Gonna take a nap?”

“Clones don’t ‘nap.’ We just take very long blinks.”

There was something new about Rex that adorned him. Maybe it was the post-sex glow, or how sexy he sounded when he was tired, or maybe it was his sweat glistened, chisiled body. Hina Ka was just happy she did this with him. She felt horrible about making his life a living hell prior to all of this. He was simply perfect. He was fast asleep by the time she covered him with a blanket and got herself dressed. She wanted to lay with him, but she had been locked away from everyone else for far too long. It was likely time to leave soon. 

Before she left him to rest, she folded his jacket and stacked his hat and goggles on top of it. She took off his boots for him and placed them in the corner. 

Still, nobody was on the ship when she left the room. But when she stepped out, she saw Anakin, who was sitting on a small cargo box making a call to what looked like Senator Amidala. She’d never seen him so genuinely glad and relaxed, not even with Ahsoka, and she was the star pupil. She had a sense of security knowing she wasn’t the only one playing with fire. Obi Wan was nowhere to be seen for the time being. 

Her and Anakin exchanged waves before he hung up and followed her onto the ship.

“Where’s Master?” 

“He said he’d be back before nightfall.”

Hina Ka looked at the sky. It was still purple. Not too much time must’ve gone by. She did feel bad though. Anakin probably had been on the ship at least once during all of the escapades. Even if he didn’t, it was written all over her face. He probably sensed them together and secluded himself to outside the ship, where it was much cooler than earlier. He had his cloak, but it was the principle. 

He hadn’t brought it up. But she knew he knew. He looked like he was holding back his enthusiasm. Maybe Hina Ka was being crazy. He’d just gotten off a call with his wife, of course he’s going to be smiley and happy. She wondered if he’d confront Rex directly. 

“I’m going to go to the back, rest up before Obi Wan gets here. I know he’s going to have me copilot.”

“Heard you, Master.” Hina Ka clicked around and started the ship up to speed up their arrival to Coruscant. 

She heard the door open. 

“Force, it’s blazing in here.” 

And then the door whirred shut. 

Hina Ka thought of if she had forgotten anything incriminating lying around in there. Although, it didn’t matter anymore. What was done couldn’t be undone. She straightened her hair up and made herself look more presentable now that she knew she had the time. In the back of her mind, she prioritized her next chance to do it.


	20. Chapter 20

Obi Wan didn’t want to believe it was true. He could sense the phantom hands all over his Padawan’s body, the heaviness of the extremities just around the area of her bosom and inner thighs. His disbelief transformed into anger. How could she sit directly behind him and think he wouldn’t figure it out? She must’ve doubted the power of their bond. She thought she’d be off the hook. The way her scent mixed with that of another man’s, how her entire person was drastically different from the Hina Ka he had left alone for an hour...it was all so obvious. He first sensed it way before he was anywhere near their ship. He expected too much of her. Obi Wan had hoped she’d come to him, crying, begging for forgiveness, swearing she had given in at a moment of weakness, but she didn’t. She sat there, stoic. Her hands were squeezed between her thighs that were shut tightly as if she had been kicked there. But when he gave her the chance to admit what had happened, she had only said her hands were cold. His grip around the controls tightened as he held back what would’ve been a very embarrassing outburst of fury. She was taking advantage of their lack of eye contact as he piloted their ship. His Padawan would never do this right to his face. His chest pained with the image. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. Some grimy, sleeze of a man using her for his own gratification, most likely not even taking her needs into consideration. 

He angrily engaged the autopilot and went into the barrack to spare her the verbal lashing that was sitting on the tip of his tongue, ready to rage.

Obi Wan couldn’t shake it. She was all over the place, even in the air. The fact that it had been done in the very room he was standing in. It was still humid. Her sash and cloak were jumbled up along with the sheets. It was if she wanted him to find out. What hurt him the most was that this was bound to happen. Those dreams she told him of, the questions, her excessive clubbing, they were all warning signs. He could only blame himself, as he felt he didn’t do enough to coax her away from her desires. He had failed her. He should’ve been tougher with her. She could’ve been great. But now that she had succumbed to her primal urges, it was only a matter of time before she began immersing herself in far worse things. At this rate, she would soon reject the Jedi teachings in full, only to be caught by the council and expelled, where she would then become a vagabond, and surely wind up dead. Obi Wan couldn’t have his Padawan traumatized like that. What more could he do? He stroked his beard, contemplating. 

HIna Ka came in, hands sheepishly held behind her back. He looked up at her, but she still couldn’t look at him. He frowned and turned away from her, repulsed by her actions. She sat next to him at a distance of only a few centimetres. If either of them moved just a bit, they’d bump. 

She didn’t know where to start. There was no apology good enough for the situation. It was clear to her that her master did not want to engage in the impending conversation. His back was facing her. It stung, but in all truth, it was what she deserved. 

"Was it one of the rebels?” he asked, muffled as he hand covered his mouth. 

She shook her head. But he wasn’t looking at her to know. Her silence destroyed him. They hadn’t been on Onderon long enough for her to really get to somebody. And what if an accident would occured? Now they were planets away, likely to never be in contact again. 

She could sense his building frustration as he tried to picture the man he held responsible for her succumbing. 

“Nobody made me.” Hina Ka spoke. “I did this on my own.”

Obi Wan rubbed his whole face with his hands, clammed from the stress and anger of what had transpired in his absence. 

“Why Hina Ka? Why would you do this?”

Why did anyone do anything? She felt like the answer was obvious. But she was so clearly in the wrong, because if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be so timid to word it. Hina Ka wished she didn’t feel guilty about her first real experience. She wanted to be spending her moments replaying it all in her head, shimmering with that post-coitus glow, and still in the arms of her lover. But there she sat, nothing less than ashamed. She honestly thought Obi Wan would never during her time left as a Padawan find out. And it wasn’t even an hour later and here she was. Her heart was broken for her master. She wished she could reverse time, way before today, probably as far back as her first heat. She would’ve just stuck to her lightsaber’s handle. No amount of pleasure was enough to have her ignore the way this affected her master. This was her fault, just like all those times before when she was a slave. It was her fault for having no control over her own body, she was the reason why all those things happened to her.

* * *

Hina Ka was the first off the ship when the group arrived on Coruscant. She went right to her quarters. Obi Wan sensed a disturbance in his Padawan, different from what he had felt while 

She was on her knees on her floor, weeping over what she had done. She had bruised the bond her and her master had built over five cycles in a matter of minutes. She should’ve never had enough time on her hands to have committed such a disgusting act. She felt dirty, inside and out. It hadn’t been worth it, not in the slightest. Hina Ka could never face Obi Wan again. 

Hina Ka ignited her lightsaber. Its green light was the only thing luminating the dark room. She held it out in front of her, pointing the tip towards her stomach. She thought about everything she had done wrong throughout her life. She thought about the only person who ever really loved her, and that was her owner, Madam Relu’ka. She thought about her hard, how much she missed her, how she promised that she would come back to her once she was free. She hadn’t fulfilled her promise to her yet. 

She couldn’t do it. 

Hina Ka deactivated her weapon and set it on the floor. She curled up and cried, apologizing to herself for letting herself get to that point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for bearing with my totally freestyled fanfic. I would really like feedback on my writing and plot so please leave a comment if there's anything I can do better in future writings. Again, thank you for reaching the end of this. I plan on writing more about Hina Ka if this was good enough.
> 
> 12/25/2020 wow look at this dramatic bitch i h8 her dchjlcdxlndfu


End file.
